EMPTY NESTERS - what next?

“If you didn't know how old you are, how old would you be?”

So what will I be doing after my loss (and yes, we will grieve the loss of children, childhood, structure and responsibilities – perhaps your role changes too and that may be a loss – but a gain too!)  A new lease on life – a new stage.  Just like our children, we too have changes to make and options to choose, and pressures to face.  But like them, more ‘me’ time to learn who we are and want to be now! 

Me?  

I’m spreading my (butterfly) wings for a new stage of life for me – a divorced mum, I am now on my own after both daughters have left home. 

  • Dancing – swing and salsa, although unsure I will/can do both at the same time!  A local dance class in 20s-50s dance is first, on Thursdays
  • More social outings with friends
  • Maybe see more of my family – planning time with the girls for a meal, catch up and time out
  • More time for my card-making hobby
  • A new networking event for business now I have more time to concentrate on that too

More time?     Less washing, ironing, cleaning, ferrying and worrying!

More money? More to spend on me and my needs instead of the guilt and pressure on the next ‘must have’ for them maybe!

More me?       What do I want to do – or not do?!  That is the question!

 So what are you going to do about it?

 Setting your own goals with SMART targets

 1. What ‘turns you on’? 

What do you really want to do in your life? Or perhaps at least did want to once in your life?

2. What is stopping you? Now or before (children, money, time, motivation, self belief)

3. What resources do you need/have you got? (time, money, space, confidence, support, opportunity etc)

4. What is your first step going to be?  When?  Today, tomorrow or the day after.  JUST DO IT!

5. Plan your action plan steps – a few now and develop it ever day, every week, as you go along.

6. Get support from friends or family – develop your support network, a commitment monitor who will help you check where you are and what you’ve achieved (even a life coach)

Enjoy this new found freedom.  Set a great example for your children that life is for living, whatever your age, whatever the stage you are at!   Have something to tell them when you meet up instead of just hearing their stories!  Be happy.  Take that step.  Embrace what life has to offer you now!

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