Why understanding what you want is key to finding fulfilment

We all seek to find fulfilment in life. Fulfilment in work, love, friendships, in our homes – finding joy in your life is, I believe, the key to a happy and meaningful existence. I define fulfilment as the feeling you get when you are operating in a ‘flow’ state, believing in everything you do. It’s a joyous thing to experience, yet many of us experience it only fleetingly – or never at all.

I believe the key to fulfilment is living with intent. That means knowing what you want and taking conscious, intentional actions to help get you there – and also being able to recognise ‘enoughness’ across your life’s spectrum so you can intentionally top ‘it’ up or bask in ‘it’.

By understanding what matters to you, you can find satisfaction in life – because you understand that everything you do is justified to meet your own needs. If you can live a life that’s true to your values and beliefs, then you will find inner peace and fulfilment. Sounds straightforward… but if it were that easy, everyone would be doing it!

How the pandemic changed the way we think about fulfilment

While the pandemic may now feel behind us, many of the changes it brought are still shaping how we think about work, relationships and fulfilment. For some, it prompted a complete career change. For others, it altered priorities, challenged long-held assumptions or highlighted what was missing from their lives.

Our work, which so often forms a key part of our self-identity, may have transformed into a remote-working shadow of its former busy office-based self, or perhaps those changes have now become a permanent part of how we work.

Others experienced redundancy, furlough or a complete change in career direction. For high-powered executives, used to leaving the house early and returning late after a full and challenging day, the change in pace was staggering and, even if welcome at first, it prompted many to question what they really wanted from life and work.

Many of our relationships also changed. Some grew stronger, while others became strained or drifted apart. Our relationships with our parents, our friends, our colleagues and our children evolved in ways we couldn't have predicted. We became carers, teachers, protectors and supporters, often while trying to navigate our own uncertainty.

Work pressures, financial insecurity, concern for loved ones and the loss of many of our usual coping mechanisms caused many people to reassess what truly mattered to them. For some, these challenges led to burnout. For others, they became the catalyst for positive change.

The disruption of the pandemic created lasting shifts in what many of us value. It encouraged us to ask bigger questions about purpose, balance, family, freedom and fulfilment. Years later, those questions are still just as relevant.

How can intentional living help?

Living with intent will be different to each of us because we are all individuals with different values and beliefs.

So, being able to live with intent requires an honest and thorough understanding of the most important person in your world: you. Then, the rest of your jigsaw starts to appear, and you begin to understand how you fit into your world – and what you need to do to make that right for you.

Living in a way that’s true to your values takes discipline and vigour. Think of the ‘eyes on the prize’ approach that sports elites have, when every single element of their lives is trained on a single goal. Each small action combines to achieve growth and success as part of a bigger whole.

Where do I start?

It all starts (and ends) with you.

The person you are is made up of thousands of events that have happened to you in your life. Your ‘now’ self is a consequence of your past. But your ‘future’ self can be shaped by intentional living.

Everyone operates with a system of beliefs we have regarding ourselves, which shapes our mindset and our feeling of ‘enoughness’. It’s these beliefs that enable the little niggling voice in your head that casts doubt on you and your decisions. Busting these myths is vital to success.

Take a long, hard look at your values and be brutally honest with yourself about these.

In truth, most of us rarely consider or assess our values and, if we do, we often water them down to something that’s palatable and easily expressed. But, crucially, that’s rarely the truth of the matter.

Knowing your values is vital because if these don’t align and aren’t represented in your life, then you won’t ever feel completely fulfilled: something will always be wrong.

Understanding your values is time-consuming. Living in such a way that’s true to them takes an incredible amount of discipline.

Together, values and beliefs create purpose. Your purpose is the root of all your engagements in your life – at work, in your family, in your community. If your purpose isn’t defined properly, it will bring you down.

Then, you can find your ‘why’ – for now. Your why will change over time, as you enter different life stages and experience new challenges. But once you know how to find it, you can keep it in your sights.

For many people, the pandemic became a turning point. It encouraged reflection about work, family, wellbeing and purpose. Years later, those reflections continue to influence the choices we make. If you've been thinking about a career change or questioning whether your current path still aligns with your values, now is as good a time as any to start moving towards what you truly want. With so many resources and sources of support available today, you have more opportunities than ever to create a career and life that feels fulfilling.

Joy, fulfilment, health and wealth are products of a life that’s aligned with your purpose: an intentional life. Understanding who you are and who you want to be is the key to finding fulfilment.