Why do you want to change? Really?

Before you begin to introduce a change, it is worth asking yourself why you are bothered about it in the first place. Knowing how to change matters, but understanding why the change is important to you can provide the motivation to begin and continue.

Think about that for a moment. Why do some of your friends seem to succeed effortlessly in their goals and ambitions, whereas you struggle and eventually give up? Are you simply lacking in willpower?

No, my dear. It is rarely that simple. Willpower may play a part, but motivation can also be influenced by your circumstances, resources, habits, health, environment and whether the goal genuinely matters to you.

One reason you may have lost motivation halfway through is that you didn’t light a big enough fire under your backside. Perhaps your reason for continuing wasn’t strong enough to carry you through the difficult parts, so your interest gradually disappeared.

That’s why having a personally meaningful reason for making a change can be so useful. It may provide a more sustainable source of energy that you can return to when things become difficult.

Your reasons often need to connect with something that matters to you. Each of us has a different background and holds different values and beliefs, so where we find our drive and inspiration will vary. Your why may not look anything like mine – and that is absolutely fine.

As Marilyn Ferguson wrote:

“Each of us guards a gate of change that can only be opened from the inside.”

For example, adventure and playfulness are important values to me. That’s why I personally derive so much pleasure from coasteering. That’s where I can get my energy from.

That doesn’t mean you should be excited about it too. Not in the slightest.

Somebody else might be creative, sociable and caring towards others, which could provide a good reason to start crocheting and making gifts. Absolutely fine by me if that works for you. Go for it.

What motivates us differs from person to person. Motivation can be internal, such as enjoyment, meaning or personal growth, or influenced by external factors, such as encouragement, recognition, responsibility or consequences. What matters is understanding which combination is meaningful to you.

Exploring your core drives

One way to identify where your drive and passion might come from is to look at your core motivations.

Yu-kai Chou, who works in behavioural design and gamification, developed the Octalysis Framework. This model organises common sources of motivation into eight ‘core drives’. Here are five of them.

1. Epic meaning and calling

The drive to act because you believe you are contributing to something bigger than yourself.

• Example: Hannah wants to become a mum and give her children opportunities to learn, grow and follow their interests.
• How might it make you feel? Meaningful and fulfilled.

2. Development and accomplishment

The drive to grow, overcome challenges and achieve a goal.

• Example: Harry wants to complete an Ironman and is ready for a tough challenge. He has signed up for Ironman Wales in Pembrokeshire.
• How might it make you feel? Proud, capable and accomplished.

3. Empowerment of creativity and feedback

The drive to experiment, create, learn and see the results of your ideas.

• Example: Most afternoons, when Matt comes home from school, he runs upstairs, opens his cupboard and takes out his Lego. He creates his own little world, where time flies while he is absorbed in play.
• How might it make you feel? Free, creative, imaginative and empowered.

4. Social influence and relatedness

The drive created by connection, belonging, encouragement, comparison or competition with others.

• Example: Dan is also going to participate in an Ironman. His friend Jake persuaded him to join, and their shared commitment helps him to continue training. He is also determined to beat Jake on the day!
• How might it make you feel? Connected, committed, supported or competitive.

5. Loss and avoidance

The drive to prevent losing something important or experiencing an unwanted outcome.

• Example: Rhi realises that continuing to overspend will put her goal of buying a home further out of reach. She creates a realistic budget and begins saving.
• How might it make you feel? A sense of urgency or a desire to avoid loss, failure or regret.

A strong why may be a cocktail of several of these ingredients. One of those that goes down your throat and makes you think: Wow. Yeah, buddy, I’m fully awake now. I’m buzzing!

What mattered to them?

Here are two videos that may help get you into gear. You can watch a short final message from Wubbo Ockels, a Dutch astronaut and professor who died from cancer the day after it was recorded, or Steve Jobs’ 2005 Stanford commencement speech. Or watch both if you’re really keen!

As you watch, see if you can identify what mattered to them and what appeared to drive them.

What were their reasons why? Why did Steve or Wubbo care?

While their stories might inspire you, this is ultimately about formulating your own reasons for making a change.

What is your story? What’s on your mind at this moment? What would you like to change if you could? Why do you care? Why would you like to make that change now rather than sometime in the future? What could it bring you?

Think about it and write it down.

If your reasons are personally meaningful, they may provide some of the leverage you need to begin. Each reason should connect with something that genuinely matters to you. It may be emotional, practical or linked to one of your core values.

A strong why is not the only ingredient needed for change. You may also need a realistic plan, supportive people, manageable steps, new skills and an environment that makes the desired behaviour easier. Motivation can fluctuate, so try not to treat a difficult day as proof that you have failed.

Make your why as clear and meaningful as possible. Then turn it into one practical action you can take.

You already have many of the reasons within you. Go and find them, complete the exercise and take your first step.