When something in your life no longer feels quite right

Perhaps something in your life no longer feels quite right. Perhaps you can't quite explain why.

Life may look much the same as it did yesterday. We get up, go to work, answer our messages, take care of our families, follow our routines. Companies continue to produce, people continue to work, financial markets continue to occupy much of our attention, and conflicts continue around the world. And yet, underneath it all, something feels different.

We are living in strange and uncertain times. Things that would have seemed alien to us a few years ago have become part of our everyday conversations. We listen to podcasts and interviews, discover different perspectives and encounter people living their lives in ways we may never have considered before.

We are not the same people we were ten years ago. That is normal. We change throughout our lives. But perhaps something deeper is happening. We start asking ourselves questions we didn't ask before. We look at the world and wonder whether this is the world we want to leave to future generations. We look at our own lives and begin to reflect on their meaning.

When your perspective begins to change

Perhaps we start questioning assumptions we once accepted without much thought. Not necessarily because we have found new answers, but because we have become curious about other ways of seeing and understanding life. And then, underneath the surface, something else begins to happen. A new awareness. We notice things we never noticed before.

It can be the eyes of a homeless person in the street and the way he looks at you. It can be a couple kissing on a bench, friends hugging, or simply noticing the smell of the air when you step outside in the morning. It can be the way your dog looks at you, and suddenly realising that perhaps he understands you in ways you had never considered.

Small things. Almost insignificant things. And yet something has shifted. Is it the world that is changing, or is it us – and our perception of the world?

Every morning we wake up in this vessel we call the body and find ourselves again. The familiar face in the mirror. Our memories of yesterday. Our beliefs. Our habits. Our unfinished tasks. Our to-do list already running through our minds. And yet perhaps, during the night, something imperceptible has changed. We wake up to a familiar world through slightly different eyes.

Reconsidering what really matters

We begin questioning things we never questioned before. We may start to wonder whether the way we have been living, working or relating still feels aligned with who we are becoming. Perhaps this is an opportunity. An opportunity to reconsider our priorities, our choices and what really matters to us.

Why do we get up in the morning? What motivates us to keep doing what we are doing? What brings us joy? What makes us smile? What makes us feel alive? Do we feel a sense of purpose? Do we feel useful? Does what we contribute to the world still feel meaningful? These questions can be uncomfortable. They can also be liberating.

We like to think we know our lives – what constitutes them, what is important, where the boundaries are. But do we? Perhaps the discomfort itself contains something valuable.

How coaching can help you explore change

I don't pretend to know exactly what is going on. I am simply trying to be a benevolent witness to this process, and to help people explore it when they come to me. After more than 30 years of working with people, I have learned that I don't necessarily need to provide answers.

Sometimes the role of a life coach is to introduce a new question, offer another perspective or become a reflecting mirror that helps someone see something that has been difficult to see from within their own experience.

I encourage people to remain curious and open-minded, especially when life doesn't feel quite right. What is this discomfort trying to tell you? What wants to be understood? What, if anything, is asking to change? And sometimes, when we are in the middle of such a transition, it can be difficult to see clearly on our own. We are too close to our own story, our assumptions and our familiar ways of looking at the world.

This can be a good time to have a conversation with someone outside your usual circle – not someone to tell you what to do, but someone who can listen, reflect back what they hear and perhaps help you see what you cannot yet see for yourself. For some people, that person may be a coach.

You don't necessarily need to arrive with a clearly defined objective. Sometimes the conversation itself is where the question begins to emerge. And perhaps that is where a different kind of change begins.

I have always been fascinated by nature and by the intelligence of living systems. In nature, the environment is fundamental to the ability of any living organism to flourish. Sometimes the organism doesn't need to be changed. The conditions around it need to change.

So perhaps the question is not simply: “What do I need to change about myself?” Perhaps it is: “What would be the right environment for the new me to flourish?”