What's stopping you?

There are many times in our personal and professional lives where we are not where we want to be.

There may be obstacles to overcome and walls to climb but they will all lead back to one simple thing:

How we approach the next step.

When the next step feels overwhelming

If that next step is a big one – getting that promotion, going back to work after a long lay-off, breaking off a relationship, giving someone bad news, moving jobs, then you feel like the smallest person in the world standing at the bottom of the biggest mountain on earth. 

At that point, standing at the bottom of the mountain, it’s impossible to see how you’re going to get to the top (you may not even be able to see that far), how long it’s going to take, or what you’re going to find on the way that will slow you down.

So, just take that first step. Make it a small one and celebrate when you’ve done it. If you're considering a career change, for example, the first step doesn't have to be resigning. It could simply be researching one role, updating part of your CV or talking to someone working in the field.

Now you’ve taken that first one you’re hungry for the second, you think you can do it quicker, think you can maybe miss a couple of steps out and take a bigger stride. You’ll wobble a bit, you’ll fall down and go backwards sometimes but you get up, you dust yourself down and you go again. That next step again. A small step again this time. 

What's stopping you from taking action?

What stops us taking that first step is the fear of what might happen.

Think about what happens when something goes wrong. Fear and uncertainty can make us want to avoid a situation, react quickly or feel unable to act. Becoming aware of our usual response can give us an opportunity to consider what we want to do next.

Some people come out fighting, try and wrestle control back.

Some run away, as far as possible and as quickly as possible. What I can’t see can’t hurt me anymore.

Some people freeze. I don’t know what to do so if I stand still or close my eyes it will all go away.

But, what if you could change how you react?

It won’t happen overnight and there’ll be some pretty uncomfortable steps along the way. But you’ll be so happy the first time you confront something and don’t run away or freeze, or the first time you decide not to confront and to walk away wrestling control back that way.

It takes a big person to walk away when frightened or threatened. It takes guts, it takes resolve. It takes trust in yourself that you will find a way to sort or to fix. It also takes guts to stand up for yourself, for your family and for your friends. 

Be strong and be happy with the person you are. If you don’t have the strength then that’s where your first step is.

How coaching can help you move forward

If you can’t find the strength to take that first step then let a coach help you find it. They can give you the guidance to make that first step, to stand there for a while celebrating (quietly or shouting from the rooftop – up to you) and then recharge for the next step and then the next one, and the next one.

Before you know it you’ll be part way up the mountain and you will not go back down. If you feel as if you want or have to go back all you need to know is what inner strength or ability to call upon in order to keep going.

That strength is already within you. It’s always been there. Sometimes it needs coaxing out, sometimes you need to go into the deep recesses of your brain and memory to find the strength and resilience when you need it. But it is there.

Coaching doesn’t have to be a long-term relationship. Clients come and go. Some have a few sessions and are happy to sail on their own again after that. Some want the ability just to check back in a few times when another obstacle comes up. Each way has the same objective and result – finding the best way for each client to take one step at a time and work with what you’ve got in front of you.