What do your unspoken words say?

Communication is not only about the words we choose. Our facial expressions, posture, gestures, tone and eye contact can all shape how our message is received.

As Peter Drucker is often quoted as saying, “The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” We give out and respond to thousands of cues and behaviours, including posture, touch, facial expression, eye gaze, gestures and energy. So much can be conveyed with a simple nod, handshake or smile. Some signals are so subtle, we are barely aware of them, but they reveal who we are and how we relate to others.

In life, much of our success depends on being able to communicate effectively, whether it’s one-to-one, at work, with family or when presenting formally. It underpins everything we do. The unspoken word of body language plays a major role, so it’s worth getting under the skin of this fascinating subject.

Body language, intuition, rapport and listening are all important non-verbal signals. Even silence itself can be powerful. Are you really aware of what you communicate? Is it what you mean to convey, and is it received in the way you intend?

It’s a vast subject, and a quick search will show a wide range of articles and books if you want to learn more. But here are three top tips to communicate better. If you don’t do these already, give them a go and see what response you get.

Three ways to communicate better without words

1. Say it with a smile

A real, heartfelt and genuine smile not only stimulates your own sense of well-being, but it also signals to others that you are open, approachable and trustworthy. You can often tell when a smile is real because it lights up the face and lingers for a while.

It can change the way people respond to you in a positive way. It’s amazing how often people return the smile. This simple facial expression can trigger happiness and good feelings for those who give it and those who receive it.

2. Make the most of mirroring

When you mirror someone, it can be an important part of building rapport. Good rapport can lead to greater agreement, harmony and connection with those around you. Mirroring is a non-verbal way of helping someone feel heard.

To get started, observe the other person’s facial and bodily gestures and subtly allow yourself to take on similar movements. This can help the other person feel understood and listened to. Keep it natural and respectful.

3. Talk with your hands

Broca’s area is a part of the brain that has been linked to the comprehension of language. It can also respond to speech-associated gestures, such as arm and hand movements. These gestures can complement speech and support communication.

So, if you were ever told to “stop waving your arms around when you’re speaking”, it might be time to go with the flow. Use your arms and hands naturally.

Working with a life coach can help you understand more about your communication style, including your body language, and how it may help you, hinder you or hold you back. Better communication can improve many areas of your personal and professional life.