Turn a negative into something else - reframing

Everyone has situations and interactions, which they feel negatively about. What if you could change your view of an event and so feel differently about it? This technique is known as ‘reframing’.

Imagine this morning on the way to work you saw a friend and stopped to say hello. Instead of being friendly she was quite abrupt with you, which left you feeling upset and wondering what you’d done wrong.

It would be easy to spend the day feeling bad and moaning to yourself about her behavior. However if you were to reframe your view things could be different. For example you could try these reframes:

• Maybe she was having a bad day and was worried about something personal.

• I’ve been meaning to call her anyway, so this is a good reason to check she’s okay.

• I know I’ve done nothing to upset her, so it’s out of my control. I’ll just let it go.

 None of these reframes would make you feel happy about the interaction; but they would allow you to move on without feeling as negative.

You can use this technique in any situation that irritates, angers or upsets you. Why not give it a try, think about a time recently when you felt any of these emotions and then reframe the situation, how do you feel about it now?

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