The two sides of redundancy: Why both deserve compassion

Redundancy is a reality for many people right now. It feels like almost every week another organisation announces restructures, role removals or business changes. And yet, for something so common, we rarely talk about the broader impact of it.

We often focus on what it will mean in terms of the process, the legalities and “next steps”. But beneath all of that, there is something deeply human happening that affects far more people than we acknowledge. Because redundancy doesn’t only impact the people who are leaving, it impacts the people who stay, too.

We don’t talk about this enough. And when we do, the conversation is often kept “professional” or led by an HR briefing document. But in reality, whether you have to leave or stay, it can turn your life upside down and shake your sense of identity, belonging and emotional stability.

Having lived on both sides myself, I know there is no “easy” side. I’ve been the one pulled to one side and told my role no longer exists. And I’ve also been the one who “was safe”, watching as colleagues I cared about packed up their things while silently wondering what it meant for me. Both sides experience emotions that deserve space, understanding and compassion.

Here we're going to explore what happens on each side of redundancy, why both sides matter, and how coaching can support navigating what comes next. Both require resilience. Both experience grief. Both feel unseen in different ways.

The emotional impact of leaving

When your role is made redundant, it’s not just a job title you lose. It can impact your identity, routine, confidence and belonging. For many people, work is more than “just a job”. It’s where you form relationships, create purpose, build structure and develop a sense of self-belief. When redundancy happens, that structure feels like it has collapsed overnight, leaving you feeling overwhelmed with unknowing.

Shock and identity loss

No matter how much you might be “expecting” redundancy, it still comes as a shock. There’s a shift in who you believed you were within that environment, in the part of you that knew where you fit, what you contributed and how you were valued. You may find yourself asking: Who am I now that I’m not this role? This feeling is human. It deserves compassion.

Fear and uncertainty

There’s the practical fear of income, consistency and security, which is heavy enough. But beneath that sits a more emotional fear: What if I’m not good enough? What if I don’t find something else? What if this says something about me? This feeling is human. It deserves compassion.

The pressure to stay strong

People who are being made redundant are sometimes made to feel they must stay “positive” or “professional”. There’s an unspoken expectation to show that you’re handling it well, even if internally you absolutely are not. People try to reassure you with “you’ll be fine”, “something better will come”, but sometimes that reassurance only makes you feel like you should be coping even more. You swallow your true feelings further down and tell yourself, “Pull yourself together.” This feeling is human. It deserves compassion.

The emotional impact of staying

The people who stay, the "survivors", often get little acknowledgement, sometimes none at all. They hear, “At least you weren’t affected.” But that’s not true. They still feel the impact; it might just look a bit different.

Survivor’s guilt

It might sound strange, but it’s quite normal to feel guilty for keeping your job when others didn’t. You might find yourself thinking, Why them and not me? When you want to talk about your feelings and the impact this is having on you, that guilt can make it even harder. Your experience, though, is just as valid. This feeling is human. It deserves compassion.

Anxiety and distrust

You’re told your job is “safe”, but the irony is that emotionally, the feeling of safety can disappear. You can find yourself wound tight, waiting for the next announcement, listening for clues or doubting the security of your role. You aren’t always instantly aware of the vibration quietly running in the background. This feeling is human. It deserves compassion.

Loss of normality

Then everything changes: the team dynamic, workloads, culture, and routines. You’re sitting at the same desk you always sat at, but suddenly the workplace feels unfamiliar. No one says it out loud, but there is an expectation to “get on with things”. Beneath it all, you feel grief, loss and unsettled by the change around you. This feeling is human. It deserves compassion.

The weight of holding others

The emotional weight of supporting colleagues who are leaving can sometimes fall on the shoulders of those who stay. Offering reassurance, absorbing emotions, taking on extra workload or keeping morale buoyant becomes part of your job. You’re already processing your own feelings, and adding this on top can be draining. This feeling is human. It deserves compassion.

Why both experiences matter

Redundancy might create a divide of “survivors” and “leavers”, but the reality is that nobody walks away unchanged. It creates two groups navigating something they didn’t choose. Both experiences leave people questioning their identity, trust and sense of belonging. Both deserve time and compassion.

It might be unintentional, but when we only focus on the people who leave, we silence those who stay. They often feel they can’t ask the same questions, like “What does this mean for me?” or “What now?”, because they believe they should be grateful. And when we only focus on the practical next steps of redundancy, we ignore the emotional side that shapes confidence, creates identity and nurtures well-being.

Coaching invites both experiences to acknowledge their feelings, rather than carry them silently.

4 ways to support yourself through this change (whatever side you’re on)

Practically, redundancy affects people in different ways, but the emotional threads can weave through both: uncertainty, fear, guilt, loss of identity, pressure to stay strong and the sense that something has shifted in you. Here are four ways to support yourself, whichever side you’re on:

1. Give yourself permission to feel

You might feel a variety of emotions, and not in any linear way. Sadness might move to guilt, which creates anxiety, only to become anger, bringing you back to sadness, a moment of relief and then numbness.

None of these needs to be explained. None is wrong. None needs to be rushed or dismissed. Acknowledge them. Allow them to flow through. “It is ok that I feel this way.” Giving them permission and space to exist helps you respond more compassionately.

2. Protect your boundaries, especially around other people’s reactions

Everyone has an opinion, even in redundancy:

“Stay positive.”
“You’re lucky you still have a job.”
“You’ll be fine.”
“What’s next?”

They may come from a good place, but even a well-meaning comment can add to the pressure or guilt you’re already feeling. You’re allowed to create boundaries. It could sound like:

“I’m still processing and taking it one step at a time.”
“I don’t have answers yet, and that’s okay for now.”
“I’m keeping things simple this week to reduce overwhelm.”

You don’t owe anyone an update, let alone a polished and polite one. Protecting your boundaries gives you breathing space.

3. Separate your identity from your job title

Whether you’re leaving or staying, redundancy shakes identity. It might be the sudden loss of a role, or the shift in culture or routine. 

A useful prompt could be:
“Who am I beyond the version of me that existed here?”

Your identity is bigger than one organisation.

4. Ground yourself before focusing on ‘what next’

One of the most loaded and hardest questions in redundancy (whichever side you’re on) is: “What are you going to do next?” Whilst you’re processing what just happened, take the time to ground yourself before rushing to answer this question.

Try asking:
“What would help me feel more anchored today?”
“What’s one step that brings clarity or stability?”

Approach it with curiosity rather than criticism.

Whether you’re leaving or staying, redundancy is a significant life shift. It can shake your sense of identity, safety and direction in ways that aren’t always visible. Your feelings are valid. Your experience matters. And giving yourself space to process this moment isn’t selfish; it’s essential.

It’s also worth remembering that everyone involved is carrying something, even if it shows up differently. You don’t need to compare your experience to someone else’s or minimise your own because “others have it worse”. You also don’t need to assume what someone else is feeling. A little softness towards yourself and the people around you can make the experience a little less isolating.

If you’re navigating redundancy right now and want support to understand what this moment means for you, coaching can help you move forward with clarity and confidence. Your next chapter isn’t defined by your employment status. It starts with you.