The Key to Create Happiness: Connect Head and Heart

Sometimes we can feel unhappy or unsettled when we don’t feel in control, or when we don’t understand what is happening around us or within ourselves. Sometimes part of that uncertainty comes from an internal dialogue that feels inconsistent: the dialogue between the head and the heart!

We all recognise that agonising situation when we don’t know what to do; the head might be clear on the direction using logic, using rational reasoning, using statistics... but if it doesn’t resonate in your heart, it doesn’t feel like the right decision.

The mistake that we often make is to only focus on the head. By doing so we may overlook useful messages from our emotions. It doesn’t mean that your decision should be based on these, but they need to be taken into consideration and then used for the balancing act with the head.

Why is it important to look at emotions? Finding balance can involve acknowledging different aspects of our experience, including our emotions.

How do you look at emotions? If emotions are running particularly high, it may help to give yourself some time before trying to make sense of them. When your emotions have calmed down, maybe after a good cry, it can help to step back and look at your emotions without judgement and without immediately focusing on the practical impact.

Look at your emotions honestly and consider:

• What might this emotion be telling me?
• Is it connected with something else in my life?
• How does it relate to the decision I’m making?
• What does it tell me about how I’m viewing myself or the situation?

The next step is to honour your emotions. Emotions can act as useful signposts, while reflection can help us consider what those signals might mean.

Once you have a clearer picture of what you’re feeling, the dialogue between head and heart may feel less argumentative. Instead of asking which one is ‘right’, you can consider what both your thoughts and emotions are telling you and use that information to make a more considered decision.