The five patterns that keep my clients stuck
Maybe it’s a job that’s no longer fulfilling, relationships that drain you, or dreams that seem out of reach. The truth is, getting stuck isn’t always about external circumstances—it’s often the result of internal patterns and beliefs that we carry, often unknowingly. These invisible forces keep us tethered to the familiar, even when it’s no longer serving us.

The good news? Once you recognise these patterns, you can begin to dismantle them. Here are five of the most common reasons people stay stuck—and how to break free.
1. We don’t set boundaries
One of the biggest reasons we feel stuck is a lack of boundaries. How often do you say “yes” to things you don’t really want to do, out of guilt or obligation? It might be staying late at work when you’re already exhausted, agreeing to social plans when you need rest, or constantly being available to others at the expense of your own needs.
When you overcommit, you deplete your energy and have little left for what truly matters. Lack of boundaries creates a cycle of frustration, resentment, and burnout. To thrive, you must learn to protect your time and energy. Start small: say “no” to one unnecessary commitment this week and notice how it feels. Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re necessary for balance and well-being.
2. We undervalue ourselves
Many of us struggle with recognising our own worth. Whether it’s in our careers, relationships, or personal goals, we often sell ourselves short. This might look like staying in a job that doesn’t pay what you’re worth, over-delivering in your work without proper recognition, or not speaking up for your needs in relationships.
Undervaluing yourself sends a message to others—and to yourself—that you don’t deserve more. But here’s the truth: you are worthy of abundance, respect, and fulfilment. Start by acknowledging your strengths and contributions. What would your life look like if you truly believed in your value? Take one step today to reflect that belief—whether it’s asking for a raise, setting a boundary, or saying no to something that diminishes you.
3. We mistake busyness for productivity
Our culture glorifies busyness, making it easy to fall into the trap of believing that doing more equals being more. But endless hustle doesn’t always translate to progress. In fact, it often leads to exhaustion and a sense of being stuck, as we fill our schedules with tasks that don’t align with our true goals.
True productivity comes from alignment, not busyness. It’s about focusing on what truly matters (for you and your goals), not just checking things off a to-do list. Take a moment to evaluate where your time and energy are going. Are your actions moving you closer to your goals, or are they just keeping you busy? Remember, rest and reflection are just as important as action.
4. We live in scarcity mode
Do you ever feel like there’s not enough—time, money, opportunities, or even love? This scarcity mindset keeps us stuck in survival mode, always fearing we’ll fall short. It can lead to hoarding time and energy, resisting change, and isolating ourselves from support.
Breaking free from scarcity requires a shift in perspective. Instead of focusing on what you lack, focus on what’s possible. Seek connection, ask for help, and trust that there is enough for everyone, including you. Abundance isn’t just about material wealth—it’s about believing that you have the resources, skills, and resilience to thrive.
5. We fear change
Even when the status quo is uncomfortable, it often feels safer than the unknown. Change requires stepping into uncertainty, which can trigger fear and self-doubt. But growth doesn’t happen without discomfort.
Ask yourself: What’s the worst that could happen if you took a step toward change? Often, the reality is far less frightening than the stories we tell ourselves. Start small—take one step, even if it feels uncomfortable. Change isn’t about leaping into the unknown; it’s about steady, intentional progress.
Breaking free
Getting unstuck doesn’t require a complete life overhaul. It starts with awareness and small, intentional steps. Identify one pattern that’s keeping you stuck and commit to addressing it. Maybe it’s setting a boundary, asking for what you deserve, or challenging a belief that no longer serves you.
Freedom and growth are possible for everyone. But they require courage—the courage to value yourself, embrace change, and let go of the habits and beliefs that no longer serve you.
What’s one step you can take today to break free?
