Reclaim your personal power

What is personal power?

One way to think about power is to distinguish between external power and inner, or personal, power.

External power can stem from an external source such as status or occupation, e.g. managing director or police officer. It can also come from expertise, e.g., a doctor or plumber.

Personal power involves self-respect, respect for others and relating to people on an equal basis. It is not about using power oppressively over others.

External power can change if you change your role, occupation or circumstances. Personal power is more closely connected with how we see ourselves, the choices we make and how we act on what matters to us.

Building your inner power

You can work on this by:

• recognising what is in your power to change
• developing how you communicate and present yourself and building your confidence
• considering where you can take purposeful action rather than only reacting to circumstances.

Are you giving away your power?

Sometimes we can fall into habits that leave us feeling as though our own needs, views or achievements matter less. These might include:

• Staying silent when you have something important to say
• Saying ‘yes’ when you want to say ‘no’
• Putting yourself down - in your mind and in front of others
• Rejecting compliments
• Minimising your achievements
• Saying ‘I don’t mind’ when you do mind
• Continually apologising
• Waiting for the world to come to you

Ask yourself: which of the above do you do?

Reclaiming your personal power

There are several ways in which you can begin to strengthen your self-esteem and sense of personal power:

1. Speak up

Speak up when you have something to contribute. Think it through and be assertive.

2. Practise saying no

Be aware of when you want to say no. Be clear at the time, or change your mind at the earliest opportunity.

3. Notice when you put yourself down

Be aware of your self-put-downs. Start keeping a note of when you use this kind of language so you can become more aware of the habit and begin to challenge it.

4. Accept compliments

Accept compliments and thank the compliment-giver, even if you’re embarrassed.

5. Acknowledge your achievements

Allow yourself to acknowledge your achievements without automatically minimising them. Where appropriate, be ready to talk about what you have achieved and the evidence behind it.

6. Express your preferences

If you genuinely don’t mind, that’s fine. But if you do have a preference, practise expressing it rather than automatically deferring to someone else.

7. Notice unnecessary apologies

Notice when ‘sorry’ has become an automatic preface rather than a genuine apology. Save apologies for the times when you actually have something to apologise for.

8. Take purposeful action

Rather than always waiting for opportunities to appear, consider what action you can take towards something that matters to you. Set goals for yourself and think about the steps that could help you move towards them.

Personal power doesn’t mean controlling everything around you. It can mean recognising what is within your influence, expressing your needs and views more clearly, acknowledging your strengths and deciding where you want to take action.