Pricing, entrepreneurs and imposter syndrome

Whose fault is it when we don't get the compensation we deserve?

I saw a post on LinkedIn last week bemoaning the pay gap for self-employed women. One respondent suggested that this may be down to an assumption on the part of buyers that women are doing it for "pin money", while men would be doing it to actually earn a living.

I have certainly come across those sorts of attitudes in the past. However, I would really like to think that this stance is reducing amongst buyers. An area of interest for me, though, is whether those of us who feel we are not getting the pay we deserve are actually asking for what we deserve?

It strikes me that, as a self-employed person, one would set their own prices. So, as long as I have done my research into typical pricing (and considered the uniqueness of my specific offering), I can charge the correct rate for my service – right?

Or is the issue that we second-guess ourselves? Perhaps we overthink what response we might get to our well-considered pricing? Maybe we start to worry about what the buyer might think? Or we get concerned about whether they can afford us? Perhaps we are suffering from imposter syndrome?

What is imposter syndrome?

Definition of imposter syndrome:

"The persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills."

Growing up, many of us were exposed to very different portrayals of the roles and contributions of girls and women in the world around us. Some of us were actively encouraged to focus on "feminine" pursuits (e.g. the arts, teaching, assisting, nursing...), whilst others were discouraged when we showed an interest in so-called "masculine" endeavours such as STEM subjects.

These early experiences, together with the messages we receive from those around us, can shape the beliefs we develop about ourselves, our abilities and what we believe is possible.

Growing up, much of what we learn comes from observing the people around us. We naturally absorb attitudes, behaviours and expectations, and many of us carry some of these beliefs into adulthood without ever questioning whether they are really our own.

So, if you wonder whether it's OK to charge a premium price for coaching, it might be because you grew up in a society that respected a "stiff upper lip" and people fending for themselves.

Or, if you are embarrassed about asking to be paid to deliver your training, it might be because deep down you believe you should simply be kind and supportive to everyone around you (i.e. asking for payment somehow diminishes the good you are trying to do).

These can all be examples of the kinds of beliefs that make it harder to feel comfortable charging what we deserve.

So, what can you do?

The first step is understanding what might be driving your thinking about how much you should charge, or how you feel when asking to be paid. Just recognising why you are reacting the way you are gives you a chance to reconsider your response and experiment with new approaches.

Having read this article to this point, you are already in a position to stop and think.

The next time you are feeling uneasy about your pricing, or about talking to your client about money, do just that – stop and think.

• What is really behind that feeling of uneasiness?
• How valid is that thinking?
• What evidence do you have for your current belief?
• What evidence might there be to the contrary?

Working with a coach to understand what might be going on and how to react differently could pay significant dividends, as a good coach will encourage you to dig a little deeper and challenge your assumptions around your beliefs.

Also, for those who prefer, a good book to read is Own Your Greatness: Overcome Impostor Syndrome, Beat Self-Doubt, and Succeed in Life by Lisa Orbé-Austin.

Finally, it is worth realising that imposter syndrome is extremely common. The buyer you are worrying about may also be wondering whether they can afford your service because they recognise the value of what you offer.

So go out there and believe in yourself. We can all challenge the negative or limiting beliefs that stop us recognising our own value and charging what we're worth.