Leaving the past behind

School days, be they good or bad, leave most of us with memories of those formative years. If you were fortunate enough to have a glowing school report, I’m so pleased for you, and let’s celebrate over a cup of tea.

If, on the other hand, your reports didn’t glow, I wonder if you’ve considered how some of those comments may have impacted your life and how you see yourself currently. How you fare in your life, relationships and business can still be affected by those words you read and the beliefs you formed.

You know the ones: “could do better”, “lazy”, “poor handwriting” and so on. Comments you read as a child may still be affecting how you see yourself now. Just imagine that.

It’s not just school reports, of course. It’s our experience growing up, from parenting to siblings and friendships. Every possible interaction and experience is absorbed, often subconsciously, and can then go on to shape how we see ourselves.

It’s very common for me to begin working with a client and find ourselves exploring deeply held beliefs and where those beliefs come from. Successful people can have problems taken from their past too. They may not be seemingly huge, problematic life events, but rather a throwaway comment that has somehow stuck with them. Years later, perhaps through coaching, they realise that this is what has been holding them back.

Here are three tell-tale signs that the past may be impacting you today:

1. Strongly held beliefs that something you do now cannot change.
2. Negative labelling of yourself, such as “lazy”.
3. You find yourself saying “I’ve always been…” or “it’s just the way I am”.

Leaving the past behind begins with taking time out to look at it. Try checking your old school reports, either by yourself or with support, so you can explore them with fresh eyes. They can then be carefully dissected and reinterpreted.

After that, you might try rewriting some of those old comments and imagining a conversation with the teacher through writing. Imagine a conversation that is long overdue and allows you to take some control back.

You too can make the most of today and tomorrow. You can flourish and thrive when you begin to leave the past behind.