Leaving the past behind

School days, be they good or bad, leave most of us with memories of those formative years. If you were fortunate enough to have a glowing school report, I’m so pleased for you, and let’s celebrate over a cup of tea.

If, on the other hand, your reports didn’t glow, I wonder if you’ve considered how some of those comments may have impacted your life and how you see yourself currently? How you fare in your life, relationships and business can still be affected by those words you read and the beliefs you formed.

You know the ones: “could do better”, “lazy”, “poor handwriting” and so on. Comments you read as a child may still be affecting how you see yourself now. Just imagine that.

How can past experiences shape our beliefs?

It’s not just school reports, of course. It’s our experience growing up, from parenting to siblings and friendships. Some comments or experiences from childhood may stay with us and influence how we think about ourselves later.

It’s very common for me to begin working with a client and find ourselves exploring deeply held beliefs and where those beliefs come from. Successful people can have problems taken from their past too. They may not be seemingly huge, problematic life events, but rather a throwaway comment that has somehow stuck with them. Years later, perhaps through coaching, they realise that this may have contributed to holding them back.

Signs a past belief may still be influencing you

1. Strongly held limiting beliefs that something you do now cannot change.
2. Negative labelling of yourself, such as “lazy”.
3. You find yourself saying “I’ve always been…” or “it’s just the way I am”.

Leaving the past behind begins with taking time out to look at it. You could, for example, start by checking your old school reports, either by yourself or with support, so you can explore them with fresh eyes. They can then be carefully dissected and reinterpreted.

After that, you might try rewriting some of those old comments and imagining a conversation with the teacher through writing. Imagine a conversation that is long overdue and allows you to take some control back.

You too can make the most of today and tomorrow. You can flourish and thrive when you begin to leave the past behind. Coaching can be a great and encouraging modality to this within - and where you can learn activities such as these to develop yourself in the present.