How to stop second-guessing yourself when you communicate

Have you ever hesitated to speak in a meeting or share an idea, wondering if it was good enough? Or felt the pressure to say the “right” thing, only to second-guess yourself into silence? If so, you’re not alone. The truth is, when you don’t use your voice, you miss out— and so does everyone else.

The confidence trap of self-awareness

Self-awareness is a double-edged sword. While it helps us grow and understand ourselves better, it can also make us overly critical. It’s easy to fall into a cycle of overthinking, questioning every word, and holding back out of fear of not meeting an invisible standard.

I know this all too well. As a shy and anxious child, I struggled to speak up. Even simple things, like answering the school register, made me blush. In class, I wouldn’t raise my hand unless I was sure my answer was perfect. And even then, I’d hesitate.

For years, this mindset followed me into adulthood. I worried about being judged, standing out too much, or not fitting the mould. But staying silent didn’t help. In fact, it only deepened my feelings of self-doubt and disconnection.

The irony is, that the more self-aware we are, the more we can doubt ourselves — while others, who may be less reflective, confidently share their ideas, often leading the conversation.

Breaking free from the need to fit in

The turning point for me came when I stopped trying to belong and started embracing who I truly was. I realised I didn’t need to fit into a cookie-cutter mould to have value. By finding my voice and using it authentically, I not only gained confidence but also created spaces where others felt they could do the same.

Every time you stay silent, someone else fills the gap—and it might not be someone who shares your values or perspective. By speaking up, you’re not only advocating for yourself but also contributing to the dialogue in a meaningful way.

Three actions to help you speak up

If you’re ready to break free from second-guessing yourself, here are three practical steps to help you start using your voice:

• Start small and practice often: Choose low-stakes situations to practice speaking up. This could be sharing an opinion in a casual conversation or contributing a small idea in a meeting. The more you practice, the easier it becomes to step into bigger moments with confidence.
• Reframe mistakes as growth: Stop aiming for perfection. Instead, remind yourself that sharing an idea, even if it’s not fully formed, is better than staying silent. Mistakes aren’t failures — they’re opportunities to grow and connect with others authentically.
• Visualise success before speaking: Before stepping into a challenging conversation or meeting, take a moment to imagine yourself speaking clearly and confidently. Visualisation helps reduce anxiety and trains your mind to focus on positive outcomes.

Why your voice matters

Imagine being in a meeting, speaking confidently, and knowing that what you say has weight. Imagine not overthinking every word or worrying about being perfect. It’s possible. And it starts with learning to trust yourself. The world needs your voice —because when you speak up, you not only advocate for yourself, but you also inspire others to do the same.