How to set goals that actually work: Make resolutions make magic

As we approach the start of a new chapter—whether a year, a quarter or simply a new mindset—it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by all the advice on goal setting. But how many goals actually stick? How often do we find ourselves either falling short or feeling uninspired by the targets we set? Let’s explore a simple, actionable way to set goals, rooted in self-reflection, accountability, and intentionality.  

Why most goals fail  

Before getting into the "how," it’s important to address the "why" behind failed goals. Many goals fall apart because they are:  

• Too big: Lofty aspirations that seem insurmountable without breaking them into smaller steps.  
• Set over too long a time period: Goals lose momentum when the time frame feels endless.  
• Driven by shame or inadequacy: Goals rooted in self-criticism or societal pressure rarely feel fulfilling.  
• In conflict with existing habits: We often underestimate the utility or comfort our current routines provide.  
• Lacking in consistency: Without saying "no" to other priorities, it’s impossible to create space for the change you want. 
• They're about something we don't really care about: Setting a good resolution means knowing yourself and what truly matters to you. Your resolution should help you become a truer and more authentic version of yourself.   

They require us to change something that is providing some unintentional benefit we're not aware of: We also like comfort. Often if we're struggling to let go of something it's because a part of us thinks we'll lose something in the process whether that be part of our identity, some sort of comfort, control or something more tangible thing.  

How to select an impactful resolution (or two)

It can be hard to know which goals to prioritise so I always start with journaling. Here are some questions I ask myself to help me think! I usually pick one to three of these and write about them for 15-30 minutes. 

• Am I measuring success in helpful ways, or am I stuck in external validation?  
• What limiting belief is keeping me in an unhealthy loop?  
• Where am I giving away my power unintentionally?  
• What am I afraid of doing but keep procrastinating?  
• What worked last year that I can do more of? 

How did I run from discomfort? How can I turn towards it? Where am I making decisions to get external approval? What worked last year that I can do more of? What belief is keeping me stuck in an unhealthy loop? I then read through this and identify one or two (challenging!) areas I want to work on.

A better way to ensure you achieve them:

Once you've found one or two areas that feel like they'll make a big difference, I draft one or two goals linked to it. Simplicity is your friend here. Choose only two goals that feel meaningful and relevant to your current life. Fewer goals mean more focus, which increases the likelihood of success.  

I then do the following:

• Make them actionable. Goals should focus on actions you can take, not vague outcomes. For example, instead of “be healthier,” commit to “walk for 20 minutes every morning.”  
• Define success by what you can control. External factors are unpredictable. Set goals where success is entirely in your hands. For instance, rather than “get promoted,” aim to “complete three professional development courses.”  
• Be specific. Specificity prevents ambiguity. Instead of “work on my side hustle,” write “spend two hours every Friday evening building my business website.”  
• Set a 90-day time frame. Ninety days is long enough to make meaningful progress but short enough to maintain focus. Review and adjust as needed at the end of each period.  
• Schedule it. Knowing when you’ll work on your goal is critical. Add it to your calendar, just as you would an important meeting.  
• Create a system of change. Change isn’t just about willpower. Build a system that supports your efforts, including tools, habits, and environments that align with your goals.  
  Accountability and support. Share your goals with a trusted person or group who can help you stay accountable. Regular check-ins make a huge difference.  
• Focus on what you’ll gain and reflect on what you'll lose: Motivation grows when you clearly visualise the benefits. Ask yourself: What will achieving this goal bring into my life? What will I feel, learn, or experience? 

What does this look like in practice?

After journalling, I could note that I want to be more present and attuned in my work relationships and I might want to try to improve my communication skills to do this so I want to set a goal around that.

Instead of saying, “I'm going to be a better communicator" - my goal might look like:  

• Actionable & specific: I will practice two communication techniques: labelling and mirroring communication for 15 minutes a day. I will do this during my one-to-one catch-ups with my team. I will note down how our interactions change. 
• 90-day frame: For the next three months
• Schedule it: I'll set a reminder to review my notes every Friday afternoon.  
• Support and accountability: I will share my progress with my coach at the end of each month. 
• Measure of success: I will feel more confident in interactions and will be asking more relevant questions. 
• Long-term gain: Feeling a deeper connection with those in the meetings.

Final thoughts  

Goal setting is about intentionality, growth, and creating a life that reflects your values. Simplifying the process, rooting it in self-reflection, and committing to actionable steps can create meaningful change that lasts - of course, getting a coach can help too.