6 strategies to build lasting confidence and self-belief

Confidence is a feeling of self-assurance and belief in our own abilities. It is a key ingredient for success in many areas of life, including personal relationships, career, and overall well-being.

When we have confidence in ourselves and our abilities, we are more likely to take on challenges and reach our goals. We are better equipped to handle stress, overcome obstacles, and make decisions.

But what if we don't feel confident? Lacking confidence can hold us back and prevent us from reaching our full potential. It can cause us to second-guess ourselves, hesitate to act, and act as a blocker from reaching what we want.

My own journey with confidence

I have struggled with low confidence at different points and areas in my life. I have always envied those who seem 'naturally confident', those that put themselves 'out there', and feel sure of themselves.

Growing up, as a teenager, and in my 20s and 30s, I was plagued by self-doubt. In my career, externally, people viewed me as confident but, internally, I felt small, unsure and inadequate. Now, in my 40s I feel more confident than I ever did. There are times, I still struggle (like a lot of us do), but I have learned techniques to help me when I am feeling unconfident.

Practising these over time, like speaking up when I had an idea, talking to new people throughout the workplace or contributing expertise where I had value to add, all played a part in getting me to where I am today. With effort and practice, you too can learn to improve your self-belief and confidence.

6 tips to help you to build your confidence

1. Take small steps outside of your comfort zone

Start by doing things that scare you a little bit, but not so much that you feel overwhelmed. Each time you do something that pushes you out of your comfort zone, you can build resilience and confidence.

2. Celebrate your achievements

Acknowledge and celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Ask friends or colleagues to help you to do this - they are likely to think of things that you might not have considered. Focusing on your successes can help you to build momentum and increase your confidence.

3. Practise self-compassion

Be aware of your thoughts, speak kindly to yourself and avoid negative self-talk. Talk to yourself as you would a friend, with kindness and understanding. Try being your own cheerleader rather than your own self-critic.

4. Try positive affirmations

I am a big fan of affirmations. They can work as a tool for shifting your mindset.

An affirmation is a positive statement about yourself which you would like to feel, but currently do not. The affirmation I used to say to myself all the time (over and over) was, "I am confident, capable and in control." It was amazing how many people then played that back to me in terms of how they described me at work. These affirmations are to be repeated several times a day to help create a positive mindset.

Choose affirmations that feel realistic and meaningful to you. If a statement feels hard to believe, try something gentler, such as "I'm learning to trust myself" or "I'm becoming more confident with practice".

5. Seek supportive relationships

Surround yourself with positive, confident people who lift you up. Avoid people who you feel undermine your confidence and skills. Seek out friends, family members, coaches or mentors who support, encourage and believe in you.

6. Can smiling help your confidence?

Smiling can sometimes help lift your mood and make you feel more approachable to others. If you're feeling low in confidence, try offering someone a friendly smile or noticing moments that naturally make you smile. It might help you feel more comfortable and connected, but remember that you don't have to force yourself to appear happy or confident when you're not feeling that way.

By implementing these strategies, you can gradually strengthen your confidence and self-belief. Remember that confidence is a journey, not a destination. If self-doubt is holding you back from pursuing your goals, working with a confidence coach can offer a supportive space to recognise your strengths, explore what's affecting your self-belief and take manageable steps towards feeling more confident.