How to choose a life coach

If you're thinking of using a life coach, you may be unsure where to start and what type of coaching you need. Many life coaches have lots of different expertise and qualifications and can help you in different ways. I thought it could be good to explain a bit more about some of the different roles a life coach can perform, depending on their qualifications, and how each is different.

I'm a coach. A therapist. A mentor. A counsellor. And a hypnotherapist.

So, how does each role differ?

Coaching

A coach asks questions to help you find your own solution and uses tools and techniques to help you find those solutions, but generally doesn't offer advice. This is called non-directive coaching, but some coaches may use directive coaching and some might be more challenging than others to keep you accountable. This might be useful in areas such as career coaching, for example. Ask what style of coaching is provided to make sure you find someone who meets your needs.

Therapy

A therapist uses certain methodologies like CBT to help change any limiting beliefs, habits, or unhelpful thinking that might be holding you back. There are many different forms of therapy, so it's useful to understand what therapy would be used and why it might be helpful to you. Often this might involve dealing with issues from your past or childhood. Check how qualified your therapist is before working together.

Mentoring

A mentor does give guidance and advice when appropriate, usually if they have experience in the area you're discussing. Like a friend, a mentor will guide and assist you in tackling issues that they may be more familiar with than you. Again, this can be useful when looking at career or communication problems.

Counselling

A counsellor again doesn't give advice but will act as a sounding board and listen to what you're saying, often playing back your own thoughts and words to help build clarity and self-awareness. Counsellors might also use methodologies like Gestalt or person-centred counselling. There are also many counsellors who use creative techniques to help you overcome blocks and internal issues.

Hypnotherapy

A hypnotherapist will use NLP and the power of trance to access your subconscious mind and help to change long-held memories, fears, phobias, habits, compulsions, or anxiety.

The subconscious mind is incredibly powerful at resolving problems in the mind and often the body, too, where symptoms can arise as a result of anxiety. It's also good for helping stop smoking or weight management.

Using hypnotherapy is very different to stage hypnosis. It is a pleasant dream-like state that we experience every day naturally, so it's a safe and enjoyable way to make a change. Hypnotherapy works on the subconscious mind, and it can be used very effectively with CBT, which works using the conscious mind. The two treatments together are very powerful.

Sometimes, I use all those skills over the course of working with someone. Other times just one or two, depending on what my clients need.

What to expect from coaching sessions

You will normally engage with a life coach on a regular basis for the agreed number of sessions. Six sessions are usually recommended to make and embed a change, with a frequency agreed between you. Sometimes once a week, or once a fortnight, or you might decide to drop back to once a month when the main issues have subsided.

Sessions can normally cost about the same as a trip to a hairdresser, and less than servicing your car. You can generally look at fees of between £70 to £150 per hour, depending on the coach you choose. Shop around to find the best price and the best person to help. Think of it as an investment to boost your career or improve your happiness.

A free discovery call should also be part of the offer so that you can explore whether you and the coach are the right 'fit' for each other. A coach might refer you to someone who specialises in a particular area if they feel they don't have the skills to help you themselves.

Often, simple homework assignments are given to help you focus on making changes by yourself, too. This could be answering a questionnaire, reading a book, listening to a podcast, or trying out a technique by yourself.

The first session will normally involve taking a case history and some professional details like understanding confidentiality and safeguarding processes. It should also involve contracting between both parties to agree on what you both need, want, and expect from the sessions before you go on to set goals for yourself.

I always expect people to do well, and it always amazes me what brilliant progress people make when they decide to make a change and get in touch. As I always say, getting in touch is the hardest part, and often, people are surprised to find how much they enjoy opening up to an independent, impartial person.

Dar Williams sums it up well,

' I don't go to therapy to find out if I'm a freak,

I go and find the one and only answer every week,

And when I talk about therapy, I know what people think,

That it only makes you selfish and in love with your shrink,

But oh, how I loved everybody else

When I finally got to talk so much about myself

Dar Williams, What Do You Hear in These Sounds'