How fear keeps your career stuck & leaves you lacking confidence

I still remember standing at the top of a steep snowboarding run, my heart pounding in my chest. The world below looked incredibly steep from up there. My legs felt shaky, and my mind was flooded with what-ifs: What if I fall? What if I lose control? Every instinct urged me to lean back, away from the slope, in a desperate bid to feel safer. In that moment, I was truly scared.

As I took a deep breath and pushed off, my fear got the better of me — I leaned back instinctively. Whoosh! In seconds, I caught an edge and tumbled into the snow. Picking myself up, frustrated and a bit bruised, I felt even more anxious about the next attempt.

A nearby instructor who had been watching came over and gave me advice that seemed counterintuitive: “Don’t lean back. If you’re afraid, lean forward — lean into the hill.” At first, this sounded wrong. Lean into the very thing that terrifies me? It went against all my instincts. But I reminded myself that my current approach wasn’t working, so it was time to try something different.

On my next try, heart still pounding, I consciously shifted my weight slightly forward and kept my body over the board even as fear screamed at me to do the opposite. To my surprise, the ride felt smoother. By leaning in and committing to the slope, I gained stability and control. I wasn’t fighting the mountain anymore; I was working with it. That day, I not only made it down without a crash, but I also discovered a powerful lesson: sometimes the best way to overcome fear is to face it head-on, leaning into it instead of away from it.

Why did leaning forward help me stay upright on the snowboard? The physics are simple: when you lean back, your weight shifts away from the board’s edge that needs to engage with the snow, making you unstable. Leaning forward places your centre of gravity where it needs to be, allowing the board to grip the slope and respond predictably. In other words, stability and progress came when I moved toward the discomfort instead of away from it.

This concept is a great metaphor for dealing with fear and uncertainty in life. Leaning back (or pulling away) from fear might feel safer momentarily, but it often leads to lost opportunities and even greater instability. For example, imagine avoiding a difficult conversation because it makes you uncomfortable — in the short term you escape conflict (temporary relief), but in the long term the relationship suffers from unresolved issues. That’s the life equivalent of catching an edge and taking a tumble.

On the other hand, leaning into fear means embracing the discomfort and taking deliberate action despite the nerves. It’s like pointing your snowboard downhill with determination. It may feel risky at first, but it’s the only way to move forward with control. When I finally leaned into the slope, I felt the board engage and guide me; similarly, when we lean into life’s uncertainties, we engage our skills and courage to navigate challenges more effectively. The fear doesn’t vanish, but we harness it. Just as the mountain rewarded my commitment with a smooth ride, life often rewards our courage with growth, confidence, and new possibilities.

Fear and uncertainty are natural parts of life. Whether you’re contemplating a career change, starting a new project, or stepping onto an unfamiliar mountain slope, that flutter in your stomach and the urge to retreat are normal reactions. How we respond to these feelings determines whether we stay stuck or grow. In my mind, this is exactly what confidence is about - how we work with fear and uncertainty. It's not about never feeling fear or uncertainty but being able to "turn towards it". 

This can often feel really hard to do and sometimes we need a professional to help us. Learning to break existing patterns that keep people stuck is one of the things I do regularly as a coach.