From stuck to clear: The psychology behind career change

Let’s be honest. If you’ve ever said, “I feel stuck,” what you often really mean is: “I don’t know what all my options are, I don't love any of them, and I'm not sure what to do". Ultimately, this is often code for "I don't trust myself" and "I'm not quite sure who I am in my career". 

We can often feel very frustrated with ourselves when we feel stuck. We may worry that we're being lazy or ungrateful or lack ambition, but it's not often this. Rather, I tend to find it's about identity dissonance. The uncomfortable space between who you were, who you think you should be, and who you might become if you finally had the space to choose.

The identity trap

When clients come to me saying they’re stuck, they often speak from within an identity that no longer fits. Maybe it’s the “high-achieving consultant,” the “reliable team player,” or the “ambitious academic.” Maybe they've had a good career in marketing, comms, or hospitality.

It’s a role they’ve worn like second skin, often for years. And now it itches. It constricts. But taking it off feels scary, too scary. 

In psychological terms, this could be seen as "identity foreclosure". A concept developed by psychologist James Marcia in 1966. Building on Erik Erikson’s work, Marcia proposed that people often commit to roles or values without genuine exploration, particularly when those roles are shaped by family, culture, or societal expectations. Foreclosure offers early certainty, but it can become a trap especially when the life you've committed to no longer reflects who you really are. It leads to internal misalignment, a sense of being “off,” and eventually, the burnout or confusion that brings people to coaching in the first place.

So when people say they’re stuck, what they often mean is this: “I’ve outgrown who I used to be, but I don’t know who I am now. And I’m afraid to find out.”

Why clarity feels so elusive

Most career advice boils down to: “Figure out what you want and go get it.” That’s useless if you’ve lost touch with what you want in the first place. Burnout, fear, and busyness cloud your ability to hear your own voice.

Add to that the echo chamber of LinkedIn influencers, well-meaning friends, and endless TED Talks telling you to “follow your passion.” It’s no wonder you’re frozen. There’s too much pressure to get it right and not enough guidance to get it real.

Clarity doesn’t come from scrolling or overthinking. It comes from noticing. From asking better questions. From sitting still long enough to hear what you’ve been ignoring.

Here are some things I ask my clients, which may help you too: 

• What are you tired of pretending to enjoy?
• Who do you envy—and why?
• When do you feel most alive?
• What are you constantly apologising for at work?
• If no one judged you, what would you try?

These aren’t questions that give you answers overnight. But they do something more important: they break the spell of stuckness. They reintroduce you to yourself.

The fear beneath the fog

What really keeps people stuck isn’t just lack of information, it’s fear. Fear of making the wrong move. Of wasting time. Of starting over. Of being judged. Of losing status. Of being “too old.”

But here’s the truth: you’re already paying a price. Staying in the wrong career costs more than changing ever will. It costs your vitality, your creativity, and your belief in your own future.

What you need isn’t more pros and cons lists. You need to name the real fear, stare it down, and choose differently anyway.

From stuck to self-aware

If you’re feeling stuck, don’t wait for the “perfect next step.” Instead, consider trying the following:

Acknowledging the dissonance: You’ve changed, and your career hasn’t kept up. This isn't necessarily failure, rather, it’s an evolution. It can help to get curious instead of feeling panicked. Treat your confusion as a sign you’re waking up rather than breaking down.

Focus on understanding who you are: Begin with identity, not job titles. You don’t need to “pick a job.” You need to understand who you are becoming.
You’re not a machine that needs fixing. You’re a human being in transition.

Accept it's going to feel daunting: And if that process feels disorienting well that makes sense.  Unlearning who you’re not is just as powerful as discovering who you are.

Ready to start?

If you want structured clarity instead of career confusion, coaching can help people just like you: smart, driven, and no longer willing to settle. You don’t need more hustle. You need a new lens. Let’s find it together.