Finding focus when it doesn't find you

To some people, the idea of getting some coaching seems like the thing to do when you have a specific goal you want to achieve and need some strategy or structure to get you there.

To others, going for coaching is more about finding that goal in the first place; maybe they are feeling lost and directionless or even lacking in inspiration.

Although a lack of inspiration or a goal to strive for might sound like a minor problem from the outside, it’s a different story when you are in that place yourself. If you have ever felt purposeless, then you will know that it can make you question almost everything about yourself.

• Who am I?
• Why am I here?
• What do I stand for?

In short, this can become a bit of an existential issue.

How do we find our focus when we don’t know what to focus on?

I think this really comes down to knowing your values, what you care about and, of course, what you aren’t that passionate about too.

Did you ever have a careers day when you were at school? I remember going to a couple of these days where you were presented with various career options, and some well-meaning teachers tried to sell you on something they thought you’d be good at.

But there can be a couple of problems with that approach. Firstly, somebody else’s idea comes from outside of you, so it may not speak to your dreams. Secondly, working within the scope of what your teacher says you are good at is not always the same as working in an area you are passionate about.

Of course, this approach may work well for some people. You could be great at numbers, passionate about the financial industry and have other people nudge you towards that career path.

Did your parents ever suggest a career path for you while you were getting ready to leave senior school? Many parents do this with the best of intentions. But their suggestions may not have filled you with excitement. Perhaps they even left you feeling a bit empty?

Many of us struggle as adults too, and not just with career choices, but in choosing our direction in general. Our heads can be so full of noise about what we ‘should’ be doing, based on our strengths and what’s practical, that we don’t always get the headspace to explore what our heart wants for us.

How do we know which way to go?

I think the thing that may be holding us back- that inability to hear our inner voice over all the other noise- is the first thing to address. This can mean stepping away from the chatter about what others think we should do or what our previous skills and experience suggest is sensible, and really reconnecting with ourselves.

Just because we were the star of the high school cross-country team doesn’t mean we should become a professional runner or a PE teacher.

Knowing what we want for ourselves right now and in our future may be about the unexplored rather than our previous experience.

Getting to know your values is a wonderful place to start. There are many articles about values and how to identify them here on Life Coach Directory or through a general Google search, as it’s a well-loved topic in the coaching world for exactly this reason. Understanding what makes you tick and what you truly care about can help you make decisions for yourself.

Gaining an understanding of your values may give you insight into where to focus your energy. This, in turn, can help you find focus and inspiration without having to push yourself into working on something new. When your values lead you towards something you care about, you may feel renewed energy and a desire to work towards a new goal.

Relax, trust the process of getting to know yourself and enjoy developing a greater sense of purpose and focus.