Feel stuck in your job? How to rebuild your confidence

If you’re feeling stuck in a job that leaves you mentally, emotionally, or physically exhausted, you’re not alone. Many professionals today are navigating a highly competitive job market, making it feel risky - or even impossible - to leave a draining role.

Even when the market is more favourable, it’s common to experience doubts when considering a career change. Thoughts like:

• "What if the next job is worse?"
• "Maybe I should be more grateful."
• "At least I have a stable paycheck."

These thoughts keep you stuck, even when, deep down, you know something isn’t right. While it makes loads of sense to have these thoughts about the future, it is also important to think about the now.

Why a toxic job can erode confidence

A toxic job doesn’t just drain your energy, it also erodes your confidence. It often happens slowly, over time. You second-guess yourself. You start doubting your abilities. You go from feeling competent and capable to feeling like you’re barely keeping up. And worst of all? The stress and negativity don’t just stay at work. They follow you home.

At some point, you find yourself asking:

• "Maybe I’m just not good enough?"
• "If I was really great at my job, they wouldn’t be treating me like this… right?"

Wrong. 

It’s often not you. It’s the environment. Sure there are always things you can do to be better but very often self-doubt isn't due to your technical competence but rather engrained beliefs. 

3 steps to take back control and rebuild confidence

If any of this resonates with you, it’s time to start taking back control. You don’t have to quit your job tomorrow, but you do need to start recognising the patterns that are keeping you stuck.

1. Recognise the patterns

Toxic workplaces make you feel like you’re the problem when, in reality, the environment is what’s draining you. But before you can make a change, you need to identify what’s happening.

Try this exercise:

Take five minutes today and write down what’s making you feel small, unworthy, or stuck in your role. Open a notes app, grab a journal, or just sit with your thoughts and ask yourself:

• What’s draining me at work?
• What specific situations make me question my abilities?
• How does my job make me feel when I wake up each morning?

This exercise helps you see patterns that might have felt like “just part of the job” but are actually signs of a toxic environment. Awareness is the first step toward reclaiming your confidence.

2. Shift your mindset

Once you start recognising toxic patterns, it’s time to rewrite the story you’ve been telling yourself.

Lie: “If I was better at my job, they wouldn’t treat me this way.”
Truth: “Toxic workplaces mistreat great employees all the time. It’s not about my worth - it’s about their culture.”

Lie: “I should be grateful to have a job. Maybe I’m overreacting.”
Truth: “Having a job doesn’t mean I have to tolerate mistreatment. I deserve a workplace that values me.”

Your thoughts shape your actions. And when you start shifting your mindset, you’ll feel more empowered to make real changes.

3. Start planning your next move

You don’t have to have all the answers right away. But you do need a plan. Whether that’s preparing to leave, setting boundaries, or finding ways to rebuild your confidence, having a strategy gives you options.

If you’re staying for now:

• Start documenting toxic behaviours so you have proof if needed.
• Set personal boundaries to protect your energy.
• Begin exploring new opportunities on the side.

 If you’re thinking about leaving:

• Update your resume and LinkedIn (without pressure to apply just yet).
• Connect with people outside your workplace for networking.
• Get clear on what kind of work environment you want next.
• And most importantly? You don’t have to figure it out alone.

My clients often aren't aware of how their environment has impacted them until we work together. Hopefully, these exercises will help build your perspective sooner rather than later.

Your worth isn’t up for debate. It’s time to take your power back.