Fear of change

Change is something we all experience throughout our lives, whether in our personal circumstances, our relationships, our work, or our outlook on the world. While change can often feel uncomfortable or uncertain, it is also a natural and necessary part of growth. Learning to accept and adapt to change can help us become more resilient, open-minded, and positive about the future.

On the theme of change, and remembering the lady who wanted to change the world but felt unable to act because she couldn’t get a babysitter, with the result that nothing changed at all. I found this poem by Sam Byron entitled Fear of Change:

Set in your ways, no one wants.
The only constant is change.
Change is the one thing we can count on because it is inevitable.
Fear of change hinders us as a society.
It can make us immobile and unable to accept change.
Fear change only when you stop changing.
Without change, we cannot move forward.

“The first step towards change is acceptance. Once you accept yourself, you open the door to change. That’s all you have to do. Change is not something you do, it’s something you allow.”

Will Garcia

Fear of change is, in most cases, accompanied by feelings of insecurity. However, a life without change would be monotonous and unexciting. Life is always susceptible to change; if you suffer from a fear of change, you may eventually lose your enthusiasm for life.

Apprehension when faced with change is normal, but when this turns into an irrational fear, it can sometimes be diagnosed as metathesiophobia.

You can react to change in several ways:

• Taking no part in the process; neither embracing nor rejecting it
• Silent resistance, offering no help or assistance, and indirectly putting up barriers
• Vocal criticism and the assumption that all change is bad
• Or asking:
  “What can I use this change for to make a positive impact on the things I can do, even if I’m uncomfortable with the change or the pace of change?”

A Change Management Programme used by large organisations to help employees cope with change asks staff to imagine that they are on board a ship. They then consider how they feel about planned changes in their working practices by identifying with the freight, the passengers, the pirates, or the crew on board the ship.

Identifying with the freight meant employees were negative and would do nothing to facilitate the change. Identifying with the passengers meant employees felt positive about the proposed change but would still do little to ensure its acceptance. The pirates were those who felt negative and would do a great deal to prevent the change from being introduced, while the crew were employees who felt positive about the change and were prepared to do all they could to help the change happen smoothly.

Tips on coping with change

• Look upon every change, however small, as something positive.
• Discuss the change.
• Get support from other people who have experienced something similar.
• View change as part of the human growth process and therefore something that should not be feared.

Many of us think we are no good at coping with change, but, in fact, as adults, we will already have coped with many changes in our lives and have plenty of experience to draw upon. Some of those changes we will have managed better than others.

One of the most helpful things you can do to cope with change is to stop telling yourself that it is bad and that you are no good at dealing with it.

Jane C. Woods suggests an exercise that may help change your life in half an hour by answering the question:

“What would change my life for the better?”

The aim is to write down everything that comes to mind, wild, good, and seemingly unachievable. Think about people you admire, careers you would like, places you would like to visit, and people you would like to spend time with. Consider every aspect of your life.

Stop after 30 minutes and take a break. Then look at the list again and count how many ideas you generated. Don’t look at it and think, “Too much ever to do.” Instead, look at it and think:

“My life is full of possibilities!”

This exercise can help you feel empowered and inspired. Remember that positive change often begins with believing that something better is possible.