Eight fear-busting tools to growth

When we attempt something new and exciting in business or life, many times we also experience feelings of resistance, doubt and fear at the prospect of embarking on this new journey.

Those of you who are thinking about, or are in the process of making a career change, will know the feelings created by the fear of the unknown. Exactly when we are meant to be at our best, fear can appear out of nowhere and stall things.

• What if I don’t like my new job?
• What if I am not good enough?
• What if I can’t find any friends?
• What if I fail?
• What will others think?

When I left the legal field and embarked on a journey to find a career in my flow, there was a lot of resistance to my transition, even though this was what I wanted - to leave. Fears and limiting beliefs were cropping up everywhere and blocking me, and I didn’t know how to deal with them.

In my case, I had built a career around somebody else’s dream. Finding out what else I could do, after I realised this, was the hardest part and made me linger in the legal field for longer than needed. But being faced with the things I really wanted to do, and had discarded for so many years, caused me even more confusion, as they seemed so removed from the life I was living then.

What will others think of my drastic change of career direction? What if this is just a phase? What if I am leaving for the wrong reasons? What do I really want?

Fears are there to keep us safe. When we feel threatened, we can get caught up in the pull of fight, flight or freeze mode. But if we never face and process those fears, we can stay stuck in our old “coding” - learned habits and beliefs from our past - never growing and moving closer to being the best we can be, following our unique flow and achieving our true aspirations and dreams.

Fears surface even when we move towards something that feels natural to us. It is how we learn to deal with them that makes the difference. Every time procrastination happens, for example, I check my fears. Has one snuck in unannounced and is now stalling progress?

Everybody has fears, even the most successful of us. They too have had to sift through those warning voices that try to keep us safe and in our comfort zone and overcome them. The bigger the challenge, the stickier those fears.

Fears don’t always go away. We just need to learn how to decode and deal with them one at a time. And when we do, we gain confidence and belief in ourselves, and the courage to face the next challenge. Our relationship with fear changes - it becomes a sign of growth, helping us grow into the best self that we can be.

Therefore, the more we understand our fears, the less hold they have on us. The points below will be useful when your fears have taken hold and are sticking around, but also to pre-empt and prepare you before fears settle in and ready you with an arsenal of tools to face them.

Let’s bust through some fear, ladies.

Tools to help you work through fear

Acknowledge the fear

Everybody has fears. The important thing is to acknowledge them. Distinguish them from a life-or-death situation and your mind wanting to keep you safe. If you are feeling fearful, check your circumstances. Are you attempting something new and challenging? The thoughts that come up as warning signs or doubts are most likely related to an old fear you have not processed yet.

Be kind to yourself

Start by stopping for a minute and acknowledging the fear in your mind and your body. Then take a small notebook and write it down each time one pops up.

One by one, ask yourself: Where does this fear come from? How is it trying to protect me? Thank the fear for protecting you and then question the fear’s validity in this situation. How is this fear hindering me from moving forward? What could I do instead?

This in itself lessens the hold of fear on us and gives us our control and choice back.

Breathe

Another great mind relaxant is breathing. Yes, we all do it, but not necessarily the way we could be.

If you are feeling angry, overwhelmed, flustered or fearful, 10 deep breaths, or five if you are in a hurry, preferably with your eyes closed, can help. This gives you time to calm down, settle the nerves and enable you to make better decisions and lessen the hold of fear on you.

This can also reduce stress when adopted as a regular activity during the day: stopping in our busy lives, breathing and noticing our surroundings in this precise moment.

Gratitude

Being grateful for the things we have reminds us what we do have already and puts things into perspective. Jot down 10 things you are grateful for and notice whether your fear shifts.

This is also something that can get us into an overall better mood when done regularly. When we are happy and content and see the abundance in our lives, we may be less likely to feel fearful.

Each day, write down the 10 good things that happened to you. If fear does take hold, read through the wonderful pages and be reminded that you do have lots to celebrate.

Change of scenery

Instead of always working in the same space, work in your favourite cafe for a few hours and gain distance from the battles in your room or at your desk. If you are office-based, there is no harm in asking the boss if you could work at an empty desk or office cafe for an hour or two. A change of scenery can help.

Go for a walk or exercise

There is nothing healthier than getting the body moving. Walking during working hours, even for 20 minutes, can soothe the mind and help create distance from fear.

Exercise may lessen the length and depth of fear’s hold. If you work from home or an office, just leaving for a midday walk may instantly boost your focus, motivation and give the distance needed for any overwhelm or fears you are feeling to start subsiding.

Take action

Action is the best way to pre-empt fear. Now, if we are in the throes of fear, action is probably the last thing we can focus our minds on. In this case, the above points will help you create that distance to get you back in charge of the situation and the outcome.

Taking small, daily, achievable actions towards our goals is the key and, in return, helps us gain trust and confidence in ourselves that we can push forward and achieve our aspirations and dreams.

What small and achievable action can you take right now?

List of achievements

You are exactly where you are meant to be, right now. Sometimes we forget we have already accomplished so much. Creating a list of achievements and having this ready to read is another “mind calmer” that can remove us from the lure of our fears.

Time off

Sometimes we wind ourselves so tight that we forget there is life outside our brains and goals. Taking the rest of the day off is a possibility. Instead of sitting at your desk staring at the screen and not doing anything, take time off.

Ask yourself, “Have I been giving myself a break?” from time to time. If an afternoon is not possible, the change of scenery point earlier might be another option. Your mind needs fun and time off too, and that does not have to include watching TV.

When you work from home, work and home can overlap. In this case, it is even more important to make a distinction between the space at home and work, so leisure time feels disconnected from work time.

Schedule quality time off regularly and see whether you become more productive, focused and less fearful.

Fear is all about mind management, and mind management is power. When we are in charge of our thoughts, and not the other way around, we can steer our boat where we want it to go and not be stuck by our past coding or old fears.

If you keep pushing through fear with the above techniques, you will start to create a new habit that may, just by thinking of it, subside fear and put it in its rightful place