Coaching with men: Building positive mental health and well-being

As I’ve written before, a lot of my coaching clients are with men. Being a man I am aware of the many issues that face men today. I also think it is timely to say there is lots to be really positive about, and if we look more, we can see how changes through positive conversations about men, manhood and masculinity are making a positive difference to the well-being and lives of men and boys. 

This helped start a movement towards changing attitudes towards men’s health and well-being and promoting growing a moustache to demonstrate, and there are other ways to be that ally. So, November shines a light on challenging the status quo and transforming the way services reach and support men as well as sparking up conversations and building positive role models. I have noticed in recent years, there has been a shift in attitudes towards men's mental health, with more men opening up and seeking support.

Here are five thoughts, taken from my coaching, which can really help build positive mental health and well-being.

How men can build mental well-being

1. Connect and engage

Stay connected and spend time with friends, family, children, and other men. Staying connected makes you feel good. It strengthens our sense of belonging and can nourish our overall well-being. These positive relationships, not only enrich our lives but also fortify our mental and emotional well-being.

2. Talking helps 

We know men's mental health is a subject concealed in stigma and silence. It is part of a narrative that asking for help, showing your vulnerability is a sign of weakness. So, talking about what matters is important for supporting well-being as well as help change those stereotypes of what is to be a man. Talking can break down barriers, allow emotions to be vocalised, perspectives gained, as well receiving guidance and support from others. It makes a difference and helps towards happier, healthier lives. Just taking that first step!

3. Know about your health and what matters

Maintaining good health is about knowing yourself – what works to keep you healthy as well as some of the risks to look out for. An appreciation of this will promote positive health and self-care and begin to help work out the measures to take to reduce the negatives and accentuate the positives.

Making an appointment with a health professional it’s important to learn about what you can do. Find out and know your facts and number.

As for strategies, look for small ways to improve your health. Identify those health opportunities. Start to break those attitudes and beliefs surrounding men’s well-being by openly discussing with friends, family, and health professionals. Check-in with one another and work to normalise these conversations.

4. Keep active

Exercise more. It not only boosts our mood, concentration, and alertness, but improves our overall physical well-being. Exercise can have an impact on our mental health, support us in managing stress, anxiety, and even depression, as well as being a natural way to boost our mood and resilience. There's compelling evidence that being physically active can help you lead a healthier and happier life. The easiest way to get moving is to make activity part of everyday life, like walking, cycling or swimming. We know the more you do, the healthier you will be.

5. Self-care

Men can feel they must be strong and self-sufficient which makes it difficult to seek help, even show vulnerability, or recognise there is something amiss. Being proactive about self-care is about looking after yourself, and putting yourself first.

Self-care is promoting and developing your overall well-being. It’s putting activities in place to strengthen your base. So, think of it as a house, the stronger the foundations the less likely it will crack, fall, or even collapse. Build these roots, underpin yourself and make self-care a priority. It can improve your all-round health, reduce stress, and improve resilience. It can even help your creativity; help you feel more confident and self-assured and give you that va-va-voom spring in your step. It can even inspire others around you. It can be, trying meditation, joining a yoga class, going for a walk, getting on your bike, going for a run, journaling, collaborating with a coach, seeing a therapist, joining a club, or doing something that brings joy are all forms of self-care.

The men I work with say choosing a male coach was important though none explicitly say they want to work on matters related to being a man. The sessions start as a discovery of how they got from there to here! From here, we figure out the goals or the questions to work on, be it rethinking life’s journeys, reimagining a new way to be, or exploring an issue where they are stuck. If during sessions, what is it to be a man arises, we will explore this too. 

Through their skills and resources, a coach can bring exploration and insights, encourage reflection and understanding of the challenges faced and help address the issues holding you back. A coach can support you in finding what matters, what’s been holding you back, taking that next move, setting goals with you, building your self-esteem, and support you take the steps you need to achieve your goals and make a positive difference for yourself and also for those around you. Life or group coaching can encourage men to pursue what truly makes them happy and fulfilled.

We all need a bit of help sometimes. It can be hard to make the first step and break out of a stuck or downward routine – more so for men, as it can seem like a bit of a taboo to seek help – it is the bravest thing anyone can do. Coaching can offer a time and space to overcome to do this.

Coaching provides clarity, direction, and focus and can offer accountability and help you define your purpose. If you would like to know more about coaching or joining a men’s coaching group, do reach out to a professional.