Christmas cheer or Christmas fear?

Christmas is almost upon us - actually, it isn’t; it is still a little while away, but those lovely retailers would have us believe it’s next week. You can breathe for a little while longer, at least.

For some, Christmas can be a struggle. For others, it’s exciting and festive, but even then it often comes with its own dose of stress.

A short burst of coaching can really help at this time of year to clear your mind and prepare for the weeks ahead. Whether you’d like to enjoy everything without feeling more frazzled than the bacon on top of the turkey by Christmas afternoon, or you’d like to find a bit of space and positive calm to do things your way, a handful of sessions could give you the boost you need.

In the meantime, let’s look at a few things that often create tension at Christmas.

Family ties

We are constantly being told that time with family is one of the best things about Christmas and, if that is the case for you, that’s great. If, however, you are climbing the walls after an hour of being with your family, you might need to take a mental step outside and see what is going on with new eyes.

There is nothing like family to fast-track us back to an old argument or lead us down a well-trodden path of dismay. A mistake we often make is not wanting to think about it until we really have to. The problem then is that the button has probably already been pushed and the old issues are chiming out at full volume.

If you take the time to deal with how you feel about one or two key things before they arise, you can head them off and ensure you are in a better place to deal with them. Coaching can help you work through old, outdated feelings and approach family gatherings in a way you may not have thought possible.

Loneliness

Christmas can really highlight a sense of loneliness. We are bombarded with images of people enjoying themselves and, if that isn’t how we feel, both the build-up and the event itself can be a sad and lonely time.

It may be that you live alone or, even though you have people around, the loss of a loved one can make you feel isolated or upset. It is important to look at the cause or reason for the loneliness in order to change things where you can.

Often, a sense of loneliness can go hand in hand with feeling low or unconfident. If we can deal with these things first, we may be in a much better place when Christmas comes. There is still time to behave in ways that boost confidence rather than feeding the worry monster right up until Christmas Day.

You may need a strategy to get through the festive period, whether that is deliberately making plans rather than sitting back and waiting to be asked, or doing something special to remember a loved one in the best way possible. Coaching can help you get that strategy together and support you to be in the best frame of mind you can be.

Feeling overwhelmed

With the massive barrage of advertising reminding us at every turn that Christmas is on its way, it is easy to feel the pressure. In fact, that is exactly what many marketing campaigns are aiming to do: make us feel pressured into ordering enough food, purchasing the best gifts, wearing the right outfit - you name it, they are selling it.

On the one hand, it whips up a frenzy; on the other, it feeds on insecurities. You may wish to purchase some of it physically, but what you choose to buy into mentally is entirely up to you.

It is important not to slip into old patterns, such as “I always leave things until the last minute”. We need to recognise them and choose to do something different instead.

For those of us who don’t like Christmas, that’s fine. I don’t like bananas, but I don’t spend much effort trying to avoid them. It is possible to be neutral about something, which can cause a lot less angst than spending your energy hating it.

Coaching can help you identify your stress points and old ways of thinking, so you can behave in a new and better way that suits you. This means you can approach Christmas in your own way, whether that’s being at the heart of the festivities or getting mentally away from it all and enjoying the relative peace and quiet.

Whatever way you want to approach it, Christmas can be closer to what you want it to be. Own the time and make it yours. If you think you’d like a helping hand to gain some clarity and approach things in the best way for you, a few sessions with a coach could help you make a real change this year. Don’t let the advertisers win. It’s time to do things your way.