Can I ask you a (good) question?

We hear it every day  - on the news, at work, in conversation: ‘That’s a good question’. When I hear that I always think, is it?  

Sometimes it’s a way for the speaker to gather their thoughts to answer the question but very often it seems to be a kind of automatic response. Which doesn’t mean much. 

What makes a good question? 

The formation of a question is important – it needs to serve a purpose. Closed questions are useful for clarity: ‘Is that what you mean?’ Open questions are more useful for exploration: ‘Why is that important to you?’ ‘How did you feel?’ Rhetorical questions might not produce any answers but they can help to lighten the mood. 

Compound questions - which political interviewers love where they pile four or five questions into one at speed and then badger the interviewee for a response – are annoying. They are too difficult. One question at a time allows for much clearer thinking. 

What’s it like to work here? 

When you start a new job, you are expected to ask lots of questions but after a while, there’s a tendency to stop. It can be difficult to ask a question if you worry that you should already know the answer. The pressure to know the answer increases as we become more senior in our role but that is exactly when we should continue the habit of asking questions so we can keep on learning, keep on adapting and improving.  I once worked with a leader who had banned the answer ‘because we’ve always done it that way’ to anyone questioning a method or a process. This helped to encourage a culture of enquiry that I appreciated. And it was a challenging, interesting place to work. 

Are questions the answer? 

Hal Gregerson, an academic at Massachusetts Institute of Technology wrote a thought-provoking book ‘Questions are the Answer’. He explores how much more creative we can be if, instead of rushing to find the answers, we ask more questions. He also encourages us to get comfortable with not knowing and get comfortable with getting it wrong. He encourages us to seek out spaces where questions are encouraged. 

Where can you find space for questions? 

I believe the coaching space is one of the safest but most dynamic spaces for questioning, exploring and learning. It’s a space where questions are key. It’s a space where what seems to be the answer can be challenged and examined to break through into new ways of thinking. This means that when a solution is found, it’s one that might actually be the most helpful and the most long-lasting – until you have to question it again. 

What are (good) coaching questions? 

Coaching questions are well-formed for their purpose. The International Coach Federation defines good questions as ones which ‘evoke awareness’: they aim to help clients think beyond their current way of thinking or feeling about who they are or their situation or what they really want.   

Potential coaching clients often seek out a coach who has knowledge of their area of work or has had a similar experience – perhaps assuming that they hold the answers. This can be helpful in some ways but my belief is that not having the knowledge can often be even more useful.  

Anton Obholzer who did hugely important work in the field of organisation consultancy describes this kind of useful questioning as ‘licensed stupidity’. If you know nothing about a subject you can ask really simple, naive questions that people who are experienced in their field have stopped asking - ‘why do you do that?’ ‘why do you do it that way?’ ‘what is that for?’ ‘When you say [x] what do you mean?’ When coaching, if I do know something about the field of work, I work hard not to make assumptions or to take shortcuts in my thinking and I continue to ask about things that might seem obvious. These often end up being the questions that bring fresh insights. 

How can we ask more questions? 

In a world where Google has the answer to everything and Open AI can write the answer for us, what can we do to stay curious, ask ‘good’ questions and keep learning? Here are a few ideas: 

20 questions

Hal Gregerson outlines what he calls a ‘Question Burst’. This is an alternative to brainstorming for answers when you set up a process to elicit lots of questions and is really useful if you have a problem that you are struggling to solve. Search ‘Question Burst Toolkit’ online for his guide.

Ask for clarification

The next time at work someone uses a word or a phrase that you don’t understand, ask them what they mean. This may help them to articulate this for themselves. You’ll also help the others in the room who didn’t know but were afraid to ask.

Resist advising

The next time someone asks you for advice, ask lots of questions instead. And when they come up with an answer ask ‘what else?’ because the first answer isn’t always the best one.

Ask yourself

The next time you have a strong emotional reaction to someone – you feel angry or sad or frustrated – ask yourself why this person evokes this reaction in you. What is it about you that makes you feel this way?

Observe children

Notice their curiosity and how uninhibited they are about asking questions. What can you learn from them?

Question your experience 

There are several frameworks that provide a structure to help you ask questions about your experiences in order to learn from them. A simple one is Driscoll’s What Model which asks 3 simple questions: 

1. What?  (What happened?)
2. So what? (What happened as a result? How did you feel? What did you think? etc)
3. What next? (What did you learn? What will you do as a result? What will you do differently as a result?) 

Do you have questions about coaching? 

You can practice the habit of being more curious and asking more questions by yourself. But it’s not always easy.  

Working with a coach may be the answer when you get stuck when you can’t think of the next question, or when the same questions keep coming around without finding a solution.