How to feel more confident selling yourself

What could you achieve if you were more confident putting yourself out there?

I’ve not worked with anyone yet who loves the self-promotion element of building a career, brand and business. (It's so much easier to do it for other people than yourself, right?!). But getting people to buy into you matters.

Whether you’re selling your services, pitching for a talk, going for a new job or heck, even convincing yourself that you really are capable of doing that thing… you’ve got to sell yourself, and your skills, to someone.

So, how do you build the confidence to put yourself out there, talk about what you do and show people what you have to offer? Here are five ways to get started.

1. Get your facts straight

When your confidence takes a knock, it can be surprisingly easy to forget all the good stuff you’ve done. So get clear on your facts.

• What are your professional achievements?
• What are your personal experiences?

Write a list of everything you’ve experienced or achieved that has got you to today.

If you want to take it a step further, add a monetary value next to each too (some of them might be priceless!). Pin the list up somewhere you can see it. Allow yourself to feel proud. Re-read it every time you need a boost.

2. Know your limits to feel more authentic

It might seem strange to talk about limits and confidence in the same sentence - but being aware of where you need support is as important as knowing where you excel.

When you communicate the whole of who you are, it shows more confidence - and authenticity - than trying to be everything to everyone. By being truer to who you are, you can deliver on what you promise - to yourself and others. This builds your self-trust and confidence.

To explore your limits - and strengths - you could use a strengths exercise or profiling tool as a starting point for reflection.

Once you have your results, you can rate your confidence and competence in the areas you feel are important to sell yourself successfully.

Map the gaps to be clear on what support you need to get your confidence levels up, and what you don’t want to sell yourself on. By creating a ‘not for me’ pot, you’ll naturally find yourself feeling clearer and more confident about what you do offer, and you’ll have a clear plan for where you need support.

3. Take control of the outcome with fear-setting

It’s probably not news to you that fear of what others might say or think about you is something that can keep you playing small.

But when you’re in that place, what can you do to get past the fear?

A great exercise that can help with this is fear-setting - created by Tim Ferriss.

The process takes you through what you’d do if the worst-case scenarios happened. By exploring the possible negative outcomes and thinking through how you could respond to them, the unknown may start to feel more manageable. This can help you feel more prepared for different outcomes.

4. Get your story straight

Something that holds people back from selling themselves is that often they don’t feel they have a clear story - who they are, where they’ve come from and how it’s led to where they are now.

If you know putting more of yourself into your profile is what you need to connect with other people and get your message heard, mapping out your story on paper can really help.

Remember, what you share is your choice. Feeling good about it on the journey matters for you to be able to continue to put yourself out there over time. So only share experiences you’ve processed, and get support to help you navigate emotions that might come up as you do.

5. Let your body do the talking

When you feel nervous or unsure, notice what you're doing with your body. You could experiment with standing tall, relaxing your shoulders and adopting a more open posture, and notice whether this changes how you feel.

Why not try it now?

Confidence in selling yourself is a skill. Just like anything else, it can be practised and learnt.

So keep going! It might feel awkward at first, but with practice it may start to feel more familiar and comfortable.