Can life coaching help when anxiety is holding you back?

The idea of booking a coach to help when anxiety is getting in the way may seem a bit off the wall to some. How can coaching help?

We tend to think of coaches as being there to help you achieve the big goals in life. You hire a coach to help you find your purpose. A coach might help you set up your own business. He or she might help you get fit or make changes to your lifestyle. Coaches are usually thought of as goal-oriented – ticking boxes on the way to success.

But sometimes the biggest goal in life can just be to confidently face the future.

It may simply be about waking up with excitement rather than that feeling of dread. You may want support to explore your fears and feel more confident about handling life. For some, working towards that goal may give them more confidence to explore other things they want to achieve in life.

Coaching can offer practical support with areas such as goals, habits, confidence, decision-making and moving forward when anxious thoughts are getting in the way. It isn't a substitute for mental-health treatment, and if anxiety is persistent, significantly affecting your everyday life or causing considerable distress, support from an appropriate healthcare or mental-health professional may be more suitable.

5 ways coaching may support you

Here are five ways having a coach could make a difference to you.

1. Be clear about the objective

One of the first things a coach will ask you in a session is, "What do you want?" A coach is interested in outcomes and getting really clear about exactly what would be a success for you.

Many people focus on things that they don't want: "I don't want to worry so much", "I don't want to be scared all the time" or "I don't want to feel sick when I have to speak in public".

For coaching to be successful, it's usually better to be clear on some things that you want. Rather than focusing only on what you don't want to experience, it can be helpful to build a clearer picture of what you would like to be different.

This is about setting the goal, and getting that picture is the first step. There will be a bit more work to follow. You need to ensure that the goal is achievable and then start to get an understanding of the steps that will get you there.

2. Understand yourself better

Part of any coaching journey involves learning about yourself along the way – what drives you. You may explore how your experiences have influenced the way you think about yourself and the world.

You can also explore the beliefs and attitudes that may be affecting your confidence or influencing the choices you make. There will be an opportunity to rethink the way you talk to yourself and others too.

3. Thinking ahead in a balanced way

When we are anxious, we may find ourselves thinking about future events in an unhelpful way. Of course, it is absolutely right to look for risks and negative outcomes when we are about to do something unusual or adventurous.

A coach may help you be clearer about how to look forward in a balanced and appropriate way. You may learn to distinguish better between risks that have a big impact on you, and things that are less significant.

For the bigger things in life, there are strategies around decision-making and analytical ways of looking at things that may help you consider your options more clearly.

Sometimes the reason we are anxious about something in the future is that we haven't looked at the potential outcomes properly. We haven't followed them through to their conclusion so that we can properly weigh up how much impact they would have. A coach can provide space to explore these thoughts and consider what is within your control.

4. Managing effective habits

There is a wide range of daily, weekly and monthly behaviours and thinking habits that some people find helpful for supporting their general wellbeing.

However, I know from working with clients over the years that it can sometimes be hard to maintain supportive habits without help, particularly when you're feeling overwhelmed.

A coach can help you maintain these habits by providing accountability and helping you explore ways to build them more consistently.

5. Measure success

The goal and outcome orientation of most coaching means that your coach may help you set out some clear milestones for yourself. These can be smaller targets and experiences that help you recognise the progress you're making towards the goals you've identified.

Sometimes progress can be difficult to notice when we're focused on what still isn't working. Taking time to reflect on what's changed can help you recognise the steps you've already taken.

This is just an overview of the kinds of things you may expect from a coach when anxiety or worry is getting in the way of the changes you want to make. Different coaches have different training, approaches and areas of expertise, so it's important to find someone whose experience and way of working are appropriate for what you want support with.

If anxiety is persistent, significantly affecting your daily life or causing considerable distress, consider speaking to your GP or an appropriate mental-health professional. If you're unsure whether coaching is the right type of support for you, a prospective coach should also be able to discuss the boundaries of their role with you.