5 business lessons we can learn from dating

Often we're great at spotting when friends are making dating blunders that will send them crashing into heartbreak. We're instantly ready with tips, tissues and encouragement.

But how about applying some of those lessons to our business learning? Perhaps they could give us a head start in building our business and avoiding unnecessary upset?

1. Know your 'big why'

When a person who is looking for a serious relationship unwittingly gets together with someone who's just out for fun, we know this isn't the best match.

Being clear on what we really, really want is important in dating, and it is in business too. We need to know where to focus our actions and be able to spot the opportunities that are right for us.

However, just focusing on what we can get makes life rather empty (selfishness isn't so attractive either!). When we realise all we have to give and appreciate our uniqueness, we are able to tap into our bigger purpose. That vision draws us forward, whatever twists and turns lie ahead.

2. Be selective

D'you know someone who is settling for a partner with no common interests and different core values? However hard they try, the relationship doesn't flow.

We've learned that being selective is best. It shows how much we value our happiness and well-being.

In business, we need to choose our target market using similar principles. We know those who will become our customers and clients must have a need for our products or services. They need to value them and be willing and able to pay for them. More than this, to do our best work, enjoy the conversations we have and consistently communicate with this group, we need to have an affinity with them.

By selecting a specific target market, we can build up our knowledge of this group, learn how to 'speak their language', design products and services they love, and become known as the 'go-to' person they recommend.

The more selective we are, the more easily our marketing and promotion flow.

3. Draw on inner wisdom

That inner knowing we rely on so much when meeting new people might have different names when we use it in business as opposed to dating, but it is no less important.

In both dating and business, we often face situations and decisions where we cannot know all the facts. We can't always reason our way through them. The more we try to figure everything out, the more knotty the situation can become.

Allowing our thinking to settle enables us to tap into a place of peace and expansiveness that is always available to us. Many people find this sense of intuition, instinct, or insight becomes one of their most valuable business assets.

4. Don't let fear hold you back

"Don't ever make decisions based on fear. Make decisions based on hope and possibility. Make decisions on what should happen, not what shouldn't."

- Michelle Obama

In both dating and business, we're venturing into the unknown, taking risks and learning as we go. This often stokes up our fearful thinking.

When we take those fearful thoughts to heart, the actions that follow are likely to be about staying emotionally safe and holding back. We might retreat from meeting new people or go on dates but remain emotionally closed. Whilst this is understandable, it won't help us to connect.

In business too, when we are focused on avoiding failure, we are unlikely to take the actions needed or be our true and authentic selves.

When we see that pursuing fearful thinking has little of value to contribute (it may even make the heartbreak we are trying to avoid more likely), we become freer to see hope and possibility and go 'all in' to discover what's possible.

5. It might not work the first time

The first person we date is unlikely to be the one we're looking for. Having sky-high expectations sets us up for disappointment. However, as we meet different people, we learn more about ourselves and our preferences, and more about the kind of people we relate to. Our communication and relationship skills develop through experience.

Not all our business decisions will be right the first time either, and there are likely to be highs and lows. Both heartbreak and business failure may feel devastating at the time, but we can navigate our way through and recover. We take all that learning into our next venture, and each new phase of our business builds on the learning of the last.

Many see the world of business as an alien environment that involves a whole new mindset and skill set. Of course, there are specific skills to learn. However, I hope this comparison has helped you to see the overlap between business skills and life skills. Entrepreneurial success may well be more accessible than you imagined.