YOU NEED FRIENDS
When we face troubled times or even joyful times, the friendships we forge are a response to what is going on around us. There are very few people who can cope with life without friends, only those with a very strong constitution.
To have a balance in our life, we need a variety of different friends. It is not putting sections of our life into little boxes; it is about creating the right friendships which form an embroidery pattern for our life style. Sometimes people need comforting, sometimes they need encouraging and sometimes they need someone to positively share joy.
What types of people can friends be?
- Older and wiser
- Work friends
- Similar life stage friends
- Opposite sex
- Cheer leaders
- Long term friendships
- Support for YOUR friends
What can each one offer?
Listeners: Those who will listen to your concerns and not judge. An opportunity to get things off your chest. Professionals who are trained to listen such as a life coach.
Encouragers: Positive people who will help you to look ahead, set goals to achieve, encourage you to achieve them and praise you when you have.
Groups: Joining a group or a club can help you forget some of your troubles by joining in with the activities of that group. Members of the group may have experienced some of the same things that you have so you have something in common. With regular meetings, you have something to look forward to thereby focusing your mind on the enjoyment of that activity.
Older and wiser: Those people who have been through it all and come out on top. They can share their experience of how they came through the other end smiling. However, be careful of choosing an older and wiser who still bears a grudge!
Opposites: They often attract and could even encourage you to make a radical change to your life because you never thought you would ever change. They demonstrate how you can adapt to a new environment, especially if you have been going through times in your life like divorce or even surviving a serious illness, when it becomes necessary to change your lifestyle.
Work friends: They can offer support in the work place but be careful who you choose - it could lead to a great deal of rivalry.
Similar life-style friends: People who are going through the same traumas as us can share feelings and understand what is happening. Illness is a typical example of this, particularly if you select a friend who is positive and determined to overcome the obstacles. Joining a group e.g. Breast Friends or Cancer Support Groups are wonderful opportunities to help sufferers to believe there is a life after.
Opposite sex friends: Sometimes a friend of the opposite sex can put a different view that could help you move forward.
Long term friendships: Someone who is always there, who never judges you, who will also give you positive and honest advice and honours their devotion to you.
Cheer leaders: We need these to confirm we have achieved our goals and give us a boost to carry on.
Support for YOUR friends: Do not just be a taker; it’s a two way affair. Be a giver also as you could give support to your friends in all the above areas. Share your experiences and help your friends; it will make you feel better and add to the wonderful experience of friendship.
The benefits: Friendships can last for ever if we look after them and we need friends to provide emotional safety, comfort and support for us and to return that support. Your life can be a better more positive and enjoyable place if you have friends. You do not need to live in their pockets, just to know they are there when you need them and there for them when they need you.
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Caroline Wellingham - Accredited Career and Life Coach, NLP PractitionerJuly 12th, 2017