-
=X
Log out Welcome back
Are you a life coach, business coach or NLP practitioner? Join us Log in
Find a coach
  • Home
  • Coaching Areas
  • NLP
  • FAQs
  • Articles
  • Local events
  • Your stories
Welcome !
Member's AreaLog out
Log inJoin us
Bookmarks (-)
  • Home>
  • Articles>
  • How to avoid the 'comparison culture'

How to avoid the 'comparison culture'

By a listed life coach
10th December, 2015
Facebook Twitter LinkedIn
Bookmark
10th December, 2015
Facebook Twitter LinkedIn
Bookmark

As much as this can be a magical time of year, the constant reminder of Christmas wherever you look can for many of us, be overwhelming and stressful. Aside from, if we’re fortunate, looking forward to a few days off, the over-emphasis on such endeavours as acquiring tasteful decorations that co-ordinate with our newly designed interiors, creating a photogenically delicious festive meal with an inspiring matching table setting, choosing beautifully wrapped presents that will leave our family and friends gasping in delight, sporting an array of perfectly co-ordinated and accessorised outfits - a different look for every fun festive occasion - all to be either discussed or displayed on Facebook for our friends to admire how fantastic our lives are… can frankly be relentless!

OK, so maybe for the majority of us this is a slight exaggeration (although I did read about someone who feels acute pressure to buy hundreds of new outfits a year as she never wants to be seen in the same one twice by her Facebook friends!). But I can’t help thinking that in this age of constant self-publication of our lives on Social Media, we are in fact becoming beholden to a comparison culture that can – if we’re not careful – mutate into a ‘green-eyed monster’ mentality that ultimately leads to a worrying depletion in our own confidence. A confidence that actually questions whether or not our own lives are good enough!

Of course we can’t put the blame for this entirely on Christmas (or indeed Facebook). We are brought up from a very early age to compare ourselves to our peers. Why do they have the latest iphone when we’re stuck with mum’s old Nokia? Why are they getting A’s in maths when we’re struggling with basic algebra? Why are they lined up for a top university when we’ll be lucky to get into the ex polytechnic down the road? Why is the guy at work up for promotion when we’re not? Why can’t we look like that model in Cosmo? Why can’t we also have the perfect wedding and two gorgeous children? And so it goes on… with teachers, parents and bosses (not to mention the media) fuelling this comparison culture that they themselves no doubt grew up in.

A little competition can be a healthy thing, in the right context. It can help provide focus and increase motivation. However, the greater our sense of (being happy with) ourselves, the less we are tempted into the comparison trap that in many circumstances seeks to undermine confidence and self-esteem.

So if you’re keen to escape the comparison culture, here’s some food for thought:

1) Make a plan that reflects you

We are all individuals with different life experiences, strengths and ways of seeing the world. Work out what you want out of life - do some goal setting including some well thought-out but practical steps of how to achieve this. Try to keep on track with this by checking in with yourself that you are living a life that is true to who you are on a regular basis.

2) Ditch the non-supporters

As much as possible, surround yourself with positive people to support you to gain clarity and confidence with the above. Those that buy into the comparison culture are probably not best suited to this.

3) Be your own best friend

Listen to what the voices are that are inside your head and be aware of your mindset. Are there negative voices that are holding you back by letting fear of failure take hold? A few simple affirmations on a daily basis can really help to kick-start a vital change in that mindset to something a lot more positive.

4) Switch off from social media

Do this as much as possible – engage productively in your own life rather than worrying about how well it measures up to other people’s.

5) Keep this in mind...

Comparison can be a negative, undermining thing… don’t give it any more attention than it deserves.

And just to end with, here’s a very apt analogy that was given to me by a wise friend:

“If an athlete is running a race and decides to look at his or her competitors, surely they run the risk of falling over?”

Confidence
Facebook Twitter LinkedIn

Life Coach Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.

Has this article rung true for you? Use our advanced search to speak to a Life Coach.
Shorter working hours in Sweden An analogy for life
Find a business or life coach near you
advanced search

print this page

Related articles View all

Confidence Career coaching Work/life balance
Careers coaching and well-being
Careers coaching and well-being
By Lisa Stone, Career Coach
Careers coaching will help you focus to achieve your goals and to move on to the next...
Confidence Career coaching
Career confidence
Career confidence
By Sarah Clark - Mariposa Coaching
What does it mean to be confident about our career? We can define confidence as 'a...
Confidence Personal development
Essential mentoring skills
Essential mentoring skills
By Sarah Clark - Mariposa Coaching
As we go through our lives, we often find ourselves in a mentoring role, but what is...

Connect with us

Facebook
Twitter
"NLP certified practitioner - January" in Birmingham is starting Tue 14th Jan https://t.co/zn8a61zs41
Get involved
More information
  • Home
  • About
  • Legal terms
  • Cookie policy
  • Privacy notice
  • Browse by region
  • Links
  • Press Centre
  • Site help

Company Details

  • Life Coach Directory, Building 3
  • Riverside Way, Camberley
  • Surrey, GU15 3YL
  • Membership Services Team: 0333 325 2501 *
  • Contact us
  • * Calls to 03 numbers cost the same as calling an 01 or 02 number and count towards any inclusive minutes in the same way as 01 and 02 calls.

Copyright © 2019
Site by Memiah Limited

Healthy ideas that change the world

Get our free monthly e-magazine straight to your inbox

Find out more at happiful.com

Happiful magazine cover
Before using our site, please take a moment to review our Privacy Notice and Cookies policy. By continuing to use this site we'll assume you agree to both.
Ok