5 tips to beat the fear of public speaking

If you hate the idea of speaking in public, you're not alone; most people don't feel brave enough to show their vulnerability in front of others because they're focusing more on what other people think of them, than on the message they want to communicate.

It’s natural to care about what other people think, particularly when we’re speaking in front of an audience. But when we rely too heavily on their approval, it can affect how we feel about ourselves and make public speaking even more daunting. We can’t control how other people respond to us, but we can focus on what we can control - preparing well, communicating our message clearly and recognising the value of what we have to say.

When I talk to clients about why they hate public speaking, they usually come up with one of these fears:

• I'll forget what I wanted to say and look stupid
• I'll be so nervous that everyone will be able to tell
• My voice will tremble, my body will shake, and I'll go red due to nerves
• I'll be boring
• Why would they want to hear from me?
• I'll say the wrong thing, and they'll think I'm stupid.

Which of these sounds most like your fear?

This fear is known as glossophobia (yes, it has a real name!).

What can I do about my fears?

The place to start is by identifying, if possible,what triggered your fear. Did you get humiliated in class when you read, or was your first experience of presenting so bad that you've never tried again?

Perhaps you've never actually spoken in public because your imagination has created such a scary 'what if' scenario that you won't even try.

Our behaviours are often driven by beliefs we have about ourselves and the world. If you've picked up the message that you're no good at presenting or that everyone will know you're nervous, then you'll carry that belief with you and look for evidence to reinforce it.

To challenge that belief, you can:

• Look for evidence to disprove it. For example, when you've talked to a group in a safer environment
• Recognise that having that belief isn't working for you and make the proactive choice to build confidence in public speaking
• Replace that belief with a new one. For example, "I've never presented before, and it might not be as scary as I imagine" or "Although I've found public speaking difficult before, it is a skill I can learn"
• Once you've dealt with those thoughts that hold you back, you can start to look at practical tips to help build your confidence

How can I cope with my nerves?

• Prepare and practise - Most of us don't have the natural ability to 'wing' a presentation, so preparation and practice are essential. Practise several times and have a dry run in front of a friend or video yourself. It might make you less self-conscious on the day. Remember that practice doesn't make perfect, though. You will make mistakes, and that's completely normal.
• It's all about them, not you - When we're feeling anxious and nervous, we tend to focus on ourselves. How am I feeling? What might I do wrong? Why do I always get so nervous? If you can shift your focus to the audience, not only does it calm your nerves, but it could lead to a better performance. Consider what your audience wants to hear and what they want to take away from the talk. Get excited about what you have to share with them
• Listen to your breathing - Before speaking, you could take a moment to notice your breathing and allow yourself time to settle. You might also picture yourself beginning your presentation calmly and clearly.

Whether you're doing an important presentation at work or a thank you at a party, remember nerves are normal and not always a bad thing.

You don't necessarily need to eliminate every sign of nervousness before you can speak confidently. Preparation, practice and understanding what you're actually worried about can help you approach public speaking differently over time.

If fear of speaking is preventing you from contributing at work, taking opportunities or communicating in situations that matter to you, coaching may help you explore what's behind the fear and identify practical ways to build confidence.