What I've learnt from 20 years as a virtual coach

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People often ask how virtual coaching works. In today’s increasingly hybrid and flexible world, working online has become the norm, not just a temporary fix. But for me and my clients, coaching virtually doesn’t feel distant or disconnected at all. It often feels as personal and impactful as being in the same room.

I am glad that I set up the online and telephone branch of my coaching business years ago. It has been very successful and here’s why:

1. Geography is not a problem. Whether clients live on the other side of the UK, abroad, or travel frequently.

2. It saves your valuable time spent travelling to and from sessions.

3. No traffic jams, roadworks, and the weather is of no consequence.

4. You save on travel costs.

5. Cutting carbon emissions on transport is better for the environment.

6. When you are not well enough or unable to travel, you can still benefit from coaching.

7. Some clients feel self-conscious face-to-face and are freer to talk in virtual sessions.

8. Clients can relax in their own surroundings.

Video conferencing seems the obvious way to follow the face-to-face model, and it can work well, but only with a very good connection and matching broadband speed.   A video out of sync with the voice is more distracting than useful, and we can spend more time trying to fix technology than coaching. At the start of a video call, it is important to establish a standby means of contact such as instant messaging, phone or email.

I find that phone sessions are superior to video. On the phone, you can listen carefully because we do not have the distractions of freezing video:  “I think it’s a bad signal”, "I can hear you fine but cannot see you“, “Let me try another device”.

Having a reliable landline with good handsets and a top-notch headset may sound strange, but it brings the conversation right into your space through your ear. You can listen to the tone and inflection of voice, hesitation, what you are saying or perhaps not saying, without visual distraction. Have you noticed how the mind can run off into stories about a person’s appearance rather than the content or meaning of what they are saying? The phone cuts that right out.

Instant messaging can work remarkably well, and I relish working in this way. One of the main positives is a record of the coaching conversation. The transcript is useful to reflect upon between sessions and maintain the gains when coaching has ended. Instant messaging also overcomes a problem I encountered recently with a client in lockdown with family: in a situation where you are uncomfortable with being overheard, you won’t be.

Virtual coaching works best in a space where you can connect without interruptions or distractions. While a quiet room is ideal, people often get creative when private spaces are limited. For example, parked cars are commonly used as makeshift coaching spaces, offering a quiet and personal environment. Others find value in using the session as a transitional pause, such as taking a moment in nature or simply creating a boundary between work and home. With a bit of intention, even unconventional spaces can become powerful places for reflection and growth.

At home, everyone must understand not to interrupt you whilst in session. Treat the time just as if you were sitting in a room with me where we will not be disturbed. If you are unaccustomed to taking space for yourself – a common coaching topic - it is time to learn the personal development skill of creating healthy personal boundaries. You are entitled to time alone to unwind, reflect, exercise or just be free of the demands of other people.

Here’s a Tip:  A “Do Not Disturb” hotel-type sign on the outside of a shut door is a fun way to indicate and remind family or roommates that you are unavailable, though at home.

Of course, there are confidentiality of data risks which have to be considered, and the coaching agreement needs to address this.  

When people are unsure about virtual coaching, starting with a trial session can often ease concerns. In many cases, even when in-person options become available, clients choose to continue online due to the convenience and effectiveness of virtual sessions. The internet, when used mindfully, is a powerful tool, especially in a world where flexibility, safety, and accessibility matter more than ever. And while we’ve grown to rely on it, our ability to adapt and find creative solutions remains one of our greatest strengths.