The comparison trap

You’ve worked your way up from an entry-level role - perhaps as a trainee or apprentice and now you’re in a senior position. But despite your hard work and accomplishments, you can’t shake that nagging feeling: ‘I’m not as good as the others around me.’ Does that sound familiar?

You’re not alone. As a coach, I regularly work with clients who face this exact challenge - constantly comparing themselves to colleagues with more polished backgrounds or advanced degrees. Even though they’ve earned their place in the room, they can’t help but feel like imposters. They wonder if they really belong, and they question whether their success is just a fluke.

So, what’s going on?

Often, the comparison trap and imposter syndrome stem from a belief we’ve absorbed over time: that our worth is tied to external validation - whether that’s titles, degrees, or praise from others. From a young age, many of us have been taught that these markers define our value. Over time, we start to internalise this message and believe that, without them, we’re not good enough.

But here’s the truth: your value is not determined by the labels society gives you. It’s shaped by your experiences, your resilience, and the unique skills you’ve developed along the way. So how do we break free from the mindset that we’re "not as good as..."?

3 steps to break free from the comparison trap

1. Focus on what makes you unique

Your path has given you strengths that can’t always be taught. Think about the practical, real-world experience you’ve gained through your journey. Your unique challenges and setbacks have provided you with insights and skills that others may not have. Recognising these strengths helps you own your journey and value the lessons you’ve learned.

2. Reflect on the challenges you’ve faced

Think about the obstacles you’ve overcome along the way. How have they sharpened your problem-solving, creativity, or leadership abilities? The resilience you’ve built through these challenges is one of your greatest assets. While others may have taken a different path, your experiences have honed skills that are invaluable in leadership roles.

3. Feel proud of your journey

You didn’t get to where you are by accident. Every step, every setback, and every success has shaped you into the skilled and competent person you are today. Own your achievements and recognise that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be.

What do you do when imposter syndrome lingers?

Challenge the negative voice in your head

If you catch yourself thinking, ‘I’m not good enough,’ pause and recognise this for what it is: a distorted thought. Then, actively replace that thought with a more empowering one. For example, ‘I’ve worked hard to be where I am, and my experience brings unique value to the table.’

Seek feedback from trusted individuals

Sometimes, we’re our own worst critics. Reach out to a mentor, peer, or manager for feedback. They can offer a perspective that you might not be able to see yourself, often highlighting strengths and accomplishments you’ve overlooked.

Never stop learning

One of the best ways to combat feelings of inadequacy is to cultivate a growth mindset. Remind yourself that learning and improvement are lifelong processes. You don’t need to know everything right now; you can continue to grow and develop new skills. This mindset will help you feel empowered rather than overwhelmed.

Own your journey

The comparison trap can make even the most accomplished individuals doubt themselves. But remember, you’ve earned your spot. It’s time to own it, embrace your unique journey, and move forward with confidence. You are enough, not because of external validation, but because of the person you’ve become along the way.