Ten top tips to live a happier life

Happiness is something we all strive for. It can seem to be rather illusive to many. Outside influences like television and social media feed our minds with their vision of what happiness is, and this often gives an unrealistic expectation of how to be happy. What if you are trapped in a negative spiral, with your thoughts racing and your ears just listening to the constant feed from other people of what you "should" be doing? So my question is how do you get out of a negative spiral when you feel all hope is lost- how do you break the spell of monotony and other people's influence?

1.  Awareness is the first key

Know that you want to make a positive change in your life and make a plan of how you are going to get there. Science has proven that we can change our neuroplasticity by overriding our negative self-suggestions and replacing them with positive self-suggestions. 

2. Words are powerful

Become intentional with your words. If you are always complaining or putting yourself down, it will make you feel negative, you must SLOW down and watch your words, even the way that you communicate with others, then start to make gentle shifts when you notice that a negative is about to slip out and make a good effort to switch it into a positive. This takes effort but the benefits are huge.

3. Mindfulness

Heres a major change maker... How about being mindful of constantly saying "I'm sorry" Perhaps have a go at flipping your dialogue from "I'm sorry I'm late" to "Thank you for waiting" This is a very minor shift, you take yourself out of victim mode and empower yourself and the other person. Something I use a lot now is "Thanks for your patience", it lets others know you appreciate their kindness instead of constantly feeling you're letting the other person down! Another powerful shift when something great happens is to switch from "I can't believe it..". to "I'm so grateful that..." These are Small changes yet have massive repercussions. Real happiness boosters.

4. Smile

Everyone loves a happy face and let's face it the world could do with cheering up and you have the power to affect others, you may be the only person who has smiled or made eye contact with them all day! How lovely to share your warmth... a smile is like a ripple in a pond it's easy to share, it costs nothing and it feels good to give- plus it makes you look younger! Oh, and while I think of it, try smiling before you make a call, or answer the phone- it works, people can feel your good vibes- your call will be great and this will boost your mood!

5. Engage

This is simple and effective, and to start with can feel awkward or a little embarrassing until you've practised it. You'll find it quickly becomes second nature. When you are out and about, speak to people. I mean you don't need to go into a long dialogue, just a simple "Hello" (with your new winning smile) usually suffices, and it really feels good when someone says hello back. 

6. Plan

Make a plan for your life, and set some goals that inspire you to get up and be motivated. Do you want to be fitter? Make more money? Have better relationships? Travel the world? Whatever you want in life you need to make an organised plan of how you will get the results you want. Having something you are working towards always makes you happier. Find that dream and work towards bringing it out of your head and into reality.

7. Move

Movement is a key component to raising your endorphins and really helps to reduce Cortisol, which is your stress hormone. It's important to do something that truly inspires you- if you hate going onto the gym floor then getting a membership and joining the gym will not be enough to get you there. Find something which lights you up. Running, walking, bike-riding, skating, boxing... there are so many things that will really make you feel happier.

8. Give

Be kind, help someone in need, it doesn't need to be much, but do things with no expectations of getting something in return. It's the little things which make a huge difference in everyone's lives. 

9. Forgiveness

This is quite a major part of being happy. Being able to forgive your past, the people who wronged you, the poor choices you made. Most of all forgiving yourself for the harm you've done. Sometimes we really need support to get through forgiveness- be sure to choose a mentor or friend who will lift you up and not wallow in your pity party with you. When you receive a positive perspective from someone you respect it can make your worries feel much smaller and even disappear with enough love & patience.

10. Gratitude

Start a gratitude practice, this truly is life-changing. Get a journal or find a friend to share your gratitude with daily and slow down enough to find ten wonderful things that happened during your day. It's hard at first but it could be as simple as; "I opened both eyes and could see my beautiful children"  This truly is a great practice because it helps you to be present and live in the now. You are the creator of your life, the author of your book and every day is a blank page to fill with experiences

My wish is that you feel inspired to make some positive changes to get out of the negative thought patterns.