Professional persona getting in the way?

We all need help from time to time.

From speaking to people, I often hear, “I don’t need a coach; I’m going to do it on my own.” There is no doubt that people have the capacity and ability to make changes independently. The question is what may be getting in their way.

When I speak to some of them later, they say the same things as before about feeling frustrated at work and how this is spilling over into their home life. When nothing has changed, this can increase their frustration. As professionals, they may make decisions, take action and achieve results every day at work, yet find changes in their personal lives or careers more difficult.

There can be many reasons for this, including uncertainty, competing responsibilities, limited time or resources, fear of failure, and not knowing where to begin.

Don’t let the belief that you should manage everything alone prevent you from considering the following steps.

Five ways to find support and move towards change

1. Be honest

Identify what may be stopping you from taking action and making changes.

Are you doing it for the right reasons? Who are you making the changes for? Are you avoiding action because you are afraid of failing?

Be honest with yourself. Sometimes a confident professional persona can make it harder to acknowledge uncertainty or admit that you do not yet have the answers.

2. Accept your vulnerabilities

Seeking help is not a weakness. Nobody is all-knowing or all-seeing, and sometimes we need to step outside our own thoughts and view a situation from a different perspective.

You might feel confident in many areas of your life but uncomfortable or unhappy in another. Support may help you clarify what is happening, understand the barriers you face and consider options you have not previously recognised.

The right kind of support will depend on the situation. It might come from a trusted friend, mentor, colleague, coach or another appropriately qualified professional.

3. Give yourself permission

Don’t become angry with yourself for only half trying to make changes or feeling that you should be doing more. Cut yourself some slack and give yourself permission to devote some time and attention to what needs to change.

We often make resources available to other people while talking ourselves out of seeking support for ourselves. Consider what your future could look like if you gave your needs greater attention.

Support does not necessarily have to involve a significant financial investment. Think about what is appropriate, affordable and likely to be genuinely useful for you.

4. Create a plan

Don’t just think about making changes; identify a practical first step.

You probably wouldn’t start a new project at work without considering the steps involved, the outcome you want and the timescale. A similar approach may help when making changes in your life or career.

Identify specific goals, the actions you could take and a realistic timeframe. Remember that you can review and adjust your plan as your circumstances change or you learn more.

5. Seek accountability

It can be easy to postpone actions when nobody else knows what you have committed to doing. An accountability partner may help you maintain focus and review your progress.

They can provide encouragement, ask useful questions and help you reflect on what is or is not working. However, accountability should feel supportive rather than judgemental or controlling.

A coach can be one form of accountability partner, helping you stay focused on your goals, explore different possibilities and consider what is genuinely important to you. A trusted friend, colleague, mentor or support group may also fulfil this role.

Perhaps you have tried to make changes before but have not seen the results you wanted. This does not mean that change is impossible. It may mean that your plan, timing or type of support needs to be different.

Maybe now is the time to consider another course of action.