Why New Year’s resolutions don’t always last

How many of us set ourselves a New Year’s resolution and, as we are saying it, we kind of know it is only going to last the New Year? We have the best intentions every year and then, before we know it, a year has passed, and we have fallen into our same old ways.

It is often reported that many New Year’s resolutions don’t last long. Why is this? I firmly believe success relies upon the way we approach the resolution, the way we think about it and how much we believe we will persevere with it. If we set a goal and, in the same breath, say, “This is going to be hard because...” or “I might fail because...” or “I have always failed before,” then we are almost setting ourselves up to fail.

The power of the subconscious cannot be underestimated. Coue’s Law relates to the times when we want to achieve something, but we fear the alternative negative outcome might happen. Our fears and anxieties can often win against our desires and goals.

Similarly, the power of our beliefs can affect our ability to stick to a New Year’s resolution. If we set ourselves a goal, but in the back of our mind we make excuses for the reasons we might fail to achieve it, then we probably will.

Changing our habits and changing our beliefs

Many people think that they can’t change their habits because they feel too attached to them. For example, if we believe that we are “addicted” to chocolate, are we saying we can’t give it up? After all, the word addict means “a person who cannot stop doing or using something, especially something harmful”. So if we say we are addicted to something, it can let us off the hook, because even the dictionary says “cannot stop”.

Of course, real addiction is serious and may need specialist support. But with everyday habits, such as eating too much chocolate, we may not be addicted in the clinical sense. We may love the taste and feel of it. To give it up may feel like a horrible thought, and it can be far easier to say, “I am addicted and can’t stop.”

What’s the solution? Instead of saying, “I want to give up chocolate but I can’t because I am addicted,” we can say, “I love chocolate, and I know it will be difficult, but I can give it up because I really want to lose weight.” Here, we are not fearing failure or using negative language. We are stating that change is possible if we really want it.

“We are unlikely to put in the effort to do what we need to do if we don’t truly believe in our ability to complete a task successfully.”

Albert Bandura

Life coaches help people to look at things from a new perspective, so they gain valuable insight into the way they think and the habits they have acquired over their lifetime. Coaches can help people make positive changes by building confidence and encouraging them to change the way they think about and approach their life.