How limiting beliefs can hold you back

Have you ever decided you couldn't do something before you've really given yourself the chance to try?

Perhaps you've thought, “I'm not confident enough to do that”, “I'd never be good at it” or “Things like that don't happen for people like me”. Sometimes, the beliefs we hold about ourselves and what's possible can influence the choices we make - often without us realising it.

These are sometimes described as limiting beliefs.

What are limiting beliefs?

Limiting beliefs are assumptions we hold about ourselves, other people or what we're capable of achieving. They can be influenced by our experiences, relationships, feedback we've received and the conclusions we've drawn from events in our lives.

For example, one unsuccessful interview might contribute to the belief, “I'm terrible at interviews”. A difficult experience speaking in front of a group might leave you thinking, “I'm not a confident speaker”.

The belief isn't necessarily a fact, but it can start to feel like one.

When that happens, it may influence what you do next. You might avoid another interview, turn down an opportunity or decide not to speak up because you've already predicted how things will turn out.

What's holding you back?

If there's something you'd like to achieve but you feel stuck, it can be helpful to explore what's getting in the way.

Be curious about the answers that come up. You might want to ask yourself:

• What's currently getting in my way?
• Which obstacles are practical and which relate to what I believe about myself?
• What am I assuming will happen?
• What evidence do I have for that assumption?
• Could there be another way of looking at the situation?
• What's one small action I could take to test that belief?

It's important to recognise that not every obstacle is a limiting belief. Sometimes there are genuine practical circumstances that make a goal difficult or mean we need to change our approach. The aim isn't to convince yourself that there are no limits, but to notice when an assumption about yourself may be creating an additional one.

Challenging your limiting beliefs

Recognising a limiting belief doesn't mean you have to immediately replace it with an extremely positive one. Start by questioning whether it's completely true.

If you're telling yourself, “I could never do that”, you might ask, “What would happen if I tried?” or “What's one step I could take to find out?”

Small actions can give you new information about yourself. You might discover that something you thought was impossible feels more manageable than expected, or you may learn what you need to work on before trying again.

Either way, you're giving yourself the opportunity to move beyond an assumption rather than allowing it to make the decision for you.

Working with a coach can also give you space to explore the beliefs that may be influencing your choices, consider different perspectives and identify practical steps towards the things you want to achieve.

Living life limitlessly doesn't have to mean believing that anything and everything is possible. It can simply mean becoming more curious about the limits you've placed on yourself - and asking whether they're still serving you.