How to let your values guide you through change

Values are your most cherished beliefs. They guide you to live a good life, as you define it. Research has shown that these generally shift very little through our lifespans. Yet, if put on the spot, many of us would struggle to define our values. They are vague concepts that have, in some way, shaped our decisions.  

A few times in my life, I felt things weren't right. I struggled to pinpoint why. In hindsight, those were times when my values were compromised and I needed to make a change. When we live life not aligned with our values, we feel a sense of dissonance. The problem is, if we haven't explored our values, we might not realise what is causing our discontent.

Knowing my values has helped me. It guided a big career change. They informed me about what kind of work I wanted to do, how I wanted to work, and how I wanted to live my life. I knew that if I stayed in the career, I would continue down a path of chasing achievement. This could lead to me taking roles that were not what I wanted for myself. Career transitions can be hard and scary, but by aligning with my values, I knew it was necessary.

Understand your own values

Maybe you have a strong sense of your own values already and can reel off those that you would describe as your core values. I definitely took time, growing older and going through changes in my life to begin to understand my own values. However, a values survey helped me reflect on what made me tick. I recommend finding a values survey online. Dr. Shalom Schwartz is a leader in human values research. He developed a 'values wheel' that identifies 10 basic human values. It is based on extensive cross-cultural data. A survey based on these is a great start for exploration.

Recognise the strengths that these give you

When you have done the survey, it is time to celebrate yourself a little bit.

A strong core value in stimulation? I bet that has led you to tonnes of interesting exploration, either out in the world or researching things you find fascinating - what a great way to develop yourself, well done! Benevolence is high up there? You must really look out for those around you and make sure that people are okay - what a lovely person to know. 

Consider how they might hold you back

Anything that you put on a pedestal can have some downsides. These values will make you fantastic in many ways. But, they may also cause some issues. It's worth exploring that. Let's take that benevolence example again. It's great to care for others. But, do you neglect your own needs in doing so? Or maybe you sometimes feel resentful that all you do for others isn’t met with the same effort back, or doesn’t get the recognition it deserves.

I know, in my life, achievement has been a core value. It has helped me. It has made me determined to improve and grow. But, it has also led me to chase rewards without questioning if they were what I wanted. Without keeping it in check a little, this value can lead me astray.

Explore the conflicts

When you look at your values, it might seem that some of them are in conflict with each other. For example, a value of stimulation (wanting challenge, novelty and stimulation) may be pulling towards change in your life while a value of security (desiring stability and security) may see you wanting to maintain the status quo. How can you satisfy both?

My suggestion is to consider which aspects of your life can honour each value. Not everything you do must align with all your values. But, your life as a whole should reflect them. Achieving your values in different areas of your life should bring you satisfaction and contentment. If your friendships, family, and home life give you security, maybe a career change can provide the stimulation you need. 

Recognise where your core values are met (and not met) in your life

Take the list of your core values, however many there are. Start to explore how well you are actually living these values. Are there parts of your life where these show up strongly? Consider your career, relationships, and how you spend your free time. Think of anything that makes up your daily life. Are there some of your core values that just aren’t really represented in your life? Are there any aspects of your life that directly go against your values?

If so, this could be a reason for any discontent or need for change that you feel. These core values can help you find the best path forward. They will guide you to what you lack and what you should develop. When deciding on change, let your values guide you. It will lead to a more satisfying, authentic life.