How to feel really committed to your New Year's resolutions

How are you doing with your New Year's resolutions? So hopefully your year has started well for you. You may have hit the ground running with plans to change aspects of your life – work, career, relationships, health, self-confidence. There is a boost of energy that can come with taking stock and figuring out what you would like more/less of in your life. As you enter a new year, this may have left you eager to set resolutions and goals, hoping to create positive change in your life. 

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Or perhaps those resolutions have already been overtaken by the busyness of life or other unexpected priorities? Are you feeling guilty that you haven’t created some of those new habits or discouraged that you haven’t found time for that thing that seemed so important a few weeks ago?

Sadly, most New Year commitments don't last beyond the 1st 10 days of a new year. Maybe this is partly because most of them come from emotional reactions or expectations imposed on us by others (the desire for our lives to look like those perfect Instagram posts!) rather than our own core values. So let's discover another layer of commitment - rooted in our core values.


What does commitment mean to you?

Pause for a moment. Before you read any further, think about the word ‘commitment’. What comes up for you? How does this word make you feel?
 
Commitment is one of those words that makes some shudder with fear whilst others seem to feel motivated by its clarity. Many people associate commitment with a sense of rigidity, structure, and loss of spontaneity. The idea of committing to a resolution or goal can feel like being restricted or having to sacrifice our freedom and flexibility. 
 
Some people associate commitment with obligations (“I ought to be more…”, “I should achieve”), rather than an expression of our authentic values and desires. When commitment is imposed from the outside or driven by what we think we ‘ought’ to be doing, without a clear internal motivation, it can indeed feel restrictive and burdensome.


How to feel truly committed 

Commitment rooted in self-knowledge and your own guiding principles can actually be a liberating force! When you commit to something that is truly meaningful to you, it provides a clear direction and sense of purpose, rather than limiting your options. Commitment then becomes less about rigid goals and more about aligning our actions with what matters most. So how do you work out what matters most? 

In a very popular TED talk – ‘Start with your WHY’, Simon Sinek talks about how successful individuals and organisations are able to clearly articulate their "why" - the fundamental purpose or belief that inspires them and guides their actions. For example:

Fitness resolution - "I want to go to the gym three times a week."

  • Why: "I want to feel energised and healthy so I can keep up with my kids and enjoy playing with them."
  • How: "I will incorporate fun workouts like group classes or sports to stay motivated."
  • What: "I will go to the gym three times a week and track my progress."

By connecting the goal to a deeper value (family and energy), the resolution becomes more emotionally compelling, increasing the likelihood of sticking to it.

Financial resolution - "I want to save £6,000 this year."

  • Why: "I want financial freedom to take my dream holiday and feel less stressed about money."
  • How: "I will create a budget and automate payments to my savings account.
  • What: "I will set aside £500 per month into a dedicated vacation fund."

Linking the resolution to a meaningful outcome, like a dream holiday, transforms it from a chore to an inspiring goal.

By focusing on your "why," you align your actions with your core values, making your resolutions not just tasks but steps toward a more purpose-driven life.


2 ways to identify your why

1. Why does my goal matter?

If you find yourself jumping to the ‘what’ or the ‘how’ (eg “I want to set up my own business”), a simple but effective way to identify your ‘why’ is to ask: “What is important about that?”. Your answer might be “Because I want the freedom to be my own boss” or “I have a product that will help people”. 

2. Identify your values

Your values are the things you deem to be important – for example: “empathy and understanding”, “determination and perseverance”, and “adventure”. Something I often do with my coaching clients is to help them define their values as this helps them to make decisions about choices they might be facing, clarify why certain aspects of their life don’t seem to be working for them, and how their values can be more aligned to different aspects of their lives. You can read more about how to identify your values here.
 
Our values do change over time, so by taking the time to explore your past, present, and future aspirations through the lens of your guiding values, you can uncover a deeper sense of purpose. This purpose or "why" then becomes the driving force behind setting meaningful New Year's resolutions or goals. Rather than arbitrary goals, your resolutions flow naturally from your core beliefs and desires for personal growth, fulfilment and contribution. They become an expression of who you are, rather than external expectations you feel you "should" fulfil. 


Why do we need commitment? 

Identifying an ambition or creating resolutions can be exciting (and of course this can be done at any time of year). However, excitement is nearly always accompanied, or closely followed by, some nervousness or fear. “What if it doesn’t work out?” “Perhaps I haven’t got what it takes?”. And of course, life will always find ways to challenge you and create obstacles and problems to be overcome. One of my favourite quotes is from John Lennon: “Life is something that happens when we are making other plans”

It is ok to ‘course correct’ 

So whilst it helps to have clear plans and be ready for some of the practical and emotional challenges that may come our way, what is perhaps equally important is the ability to make course corrections in response to what life throws at us, but in a way that we keep our bearings and sights set on what we most value.
 
It's a dynamic dance between the ‘yin’ of openness to what is happening in life and the ‘yang’ of intentionality – what we would like to happen, allowing us to remain responsive to life's ebbs and flows while staying true to our core values.

So, if you have noticed your commitment to your goals or resolutions is wavering or perhaps you have even given up on some of them completely, I recommend:

  • Not to beat yourself up! You are certainly not alone. Acknowledge your inner critic, but don’t let him/her believe you have failed.
  • Sit down and review your goals. Identify or remind yourself of your ‘why’- what is important about this to you?
  • Share your dreams. Sharing our dreams and goals with trusted friends or a supportive group can help us stay motivated and on track. Having people in our lives who can gently hold us accountable can make all the difference in turning our resolutions into lasting habits. 

Would you like to have goals that excite and energise you?

By reframing commitment as a way of expressing your values and what matters to you, rather than something that feels like a task or obligation, you can approach New Year's resolutions or goal setting with a renewed sense of personal power and freedom. Your resolutions become expressions of who you are, not just external goals to be achieved. This shift will allow you to embrace commitment in a way that feels liberating and supports you in becoming the fullest expression of yourself. 

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Life Coach Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Aylesbury HP18 & Kidlington OX5
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Written by Richard Rogers
BSc. Psychology, MSc, CPsychol, ACC (ICF) | Accredited Coach
location_on Aylesbury HP18 & Kidlington OX5
Richard is an experienced life, work and therapeutic coach. He helps people with their career, relationships, overcoming imposter syndrome, confidence, and create lasting change from the inside out. With proven tools and deep insight, he guides clients towards the life they desire whilst enjoying the journey of being authentically themselves.
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