Frazzled to festive: 5 ways to calm before Christmas

Congratulations, you have survived the pre-Christmas chaos. You have managed to close your work laptop, your out-of-office is on, and you have navigated the office secret Santa like a pro without receiving socks again. Yet, the Christmas joy sounds like it is coming from the neighbours' kids next door and you’re more wired than a Christmas tree plugged into the national grid.  

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It’s not just you! With work deadlines, last-minute shopping and dealing with Aunt Caroline’s passive aggression about who is cooking the Christmas turkey, it is no wonder your nervous system is screaming at you. While “Just relax” seems to be the Christmas carol of your nearest and dearest (and might be the worst advice ever), there are some simple ways to help restore serenity before the big day. 
 
Enter polyvagal theory. It is clever, sciencey, and – most importantly – it works. 


Polyvagal theory – The fun way 

Polyvagal theory was developed by Dr Stephen Porges and in a nutshell, is all about the vagus nerve in the body. The vagus nerve runs from your brain to everything else in your body and decides whether you are feeling chill and open to connection, ready to fight or flee, or preparing to hibernate until New Year.  

The nervous system has three modes: 

  • Safe and social (ventral vagal state): You’re feeling calm and open to socially connecting with others. In other words, you’re sipping mulled wine and cheerfully debating whether Die Hard is actually a Christmas movie or not.  
  • Fight or flight (sympathetic activation): Your nervous system is switched on and ready for action. Think, you’re plotting revenge on the person who looks the last Turkey in Tesco, and now your family is complaining that you have Salmon for Christmas dinner. 
  • Shut down (dorsal vagal collapse): You feel immobilised and numb, enough is enough, you are hiding under a blanket, questioning the point of it all.   

The goal? Aim to be into the first mode – calm, connected and ready to enjoy Christmas festivities. Luckily, there are some fantastic, science-backed exercises to do just that.   


5 ways to hit reset before Christmas 

Breath like a zen reindeer 

On the 23rd of December, start your post-work wind down with some mindful breathing. It seems obvious, but it resets the nervous system, quickly.

Here’s how: 

  • Inhale for a count of 4 (imagine sniffing your favourite Christmas food treat – mine is Christmas pudding) 
  • Hold for a count of 4 
  • Exhale for a count of 6 (imagine blowing on a mince pie to cool it down) 

The longer out breath calms the nervous system. Try doing this for a few minutes. It will also stop the wrapping presents last minute hyperventilation.  

Stare at pretty patterns 

I promise I haven’t lost the plot. Fractal gazing might sound like something out of an art school curriculum, but it is actually a really clever way to soothe your brain. Ever wondered why the patterns of snowflakes or the swirls in your hot chocolate are quite mesmerising? You guessed it. Fractals. Studies show that these repeating patterns help your nervous system relax. And, if you don’t have natural patterns nearby, a quick Google of fractal art will work the same.  

Meditate with texture 

Feeling tense? Grab something textured – a pinecone, a soft blanket, Christmas tinsel (if you’re feeling brave) - and pay attention to how it feels. Notice the softness, roughness or warmth. Engaging with your sense of touch can ground you in the present moment which can calm and anchor your nervous system.  

Hum your heart out 

Feeling overwhelmed? Hum. Seriously. I’m not suggesting a fully orchestrated “all I want for Christmas is you” rendition, however, the vibrations of gently humming your favourite Christmas carols, stimulate your vagus nerve and help to shift you into a calm, connected state.  

Visualise your happy place (hint: Wait until you are not in the middle of a busy Sainsbury’s) 

On Christmas Eve, close your eyes for five minutes and imagine your favourite place. The place you feel safe, secure and peaceful. Whether it is a favourite holiday destination on the beach with the kids running around, or being able to fully embrace your partner with no distractions from the kids, picture every detail – the sights, the smells, the sounds. This exercise will remind you that all is well, even when you have run out of Sellotape again! 

And relax... 

Allowing yourself the time in your busy schedule to take a few minutes to try some of these exercises will help you step into Christmas day feeling less frazzled. These tips are quick, and effective and won’t require you to explain to the family why you have suddenly taken up kitchen Yoga. How about this year, swap panic for presence? Choose to find calm in chaotic situations and remember – Christmas is about connection, not perfection.  
 Merry Christmas, may your festive period be as calm as your nervous system deserves.  

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Life Coach Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Ivybridge, Devon, PL21
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Written by Anabel Reddaway
MSc Positive Psychology and Coaching, BSc Psychology, EMCC
location_on Ivybridge, Devon, PL21
Hi, I', Anabel an EMCC-accredited, MSc-qualified coach specialising in relationship and communication coaching, with expertise in sexual communication. My evidence-based approach, informed by positive psychology and coaching psychology, is creative, reflective and client-centred. Book a discovery call today to explore how we can work together.
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