How to challenge fear and self-doubt

Fear has an important purpose. It can alert us to danger and help us respond when something threatens our safety. But fear can also show up when we’re facing uncertainty, change or the possibility that something might not go to plan.

Thankfully, most of us are no longer being stalked by wild animals, at least not in West Oxfordshire. Yet we can still find ourselves experiencing fear in situations where the danger isn’t quite so clear-cut.

Whilst a subject this complex requires a great deal of understanding, here are some important and simple points which may help make a difference to people’s lives.

Notice how you are thinking about the situation

Imagine how much time can be spent on rumination. Simple but effective ways of understanding negative thinking and self-talk can be a good way to challenge fear. Learning to observe your thoughts and ask whether they are helpful and realistic is the first step.

We can then challenge unhelpful thoughts and consider whether there is a more balanced way of looking at the situation, based on the evidence available to us. What we think about a situation can influence how we feel about it, but that doesn’t mean every thought or prediction we have will turn out to be true.

Be honest with yourself. What is it you truly fear?

The easiest person to deceive is ourselves. Find out what it is that you fear and accept it without criticism or embarrassment. 

Are you afraid of failing? Being judged? Making a mistake? Disappointing someone? Or perhaps you’re worried about what might change if you succeed?

Identifying what is really worrying you can make it easier to explore whether your concerns are based on practical risks, assumptions about what might happen or a mixture of both.

We can also spend a lot of time worrying about what other people will think of us. No one is perfect, and making a mistake doesn’t have to define what you are capable of.

Aim for excellence, not perfection

Trying to be perfect can sometimes make it harder to get started. Fear of failure may lead us to procrastinate, keep making changes or avoid putting our work out into the world altogether.

Living in this social media and digital age, failure can feel very public. Rather than waiting until you can guarantee a perfect outcome, consider what a good or worthwhile outcome would look like. You can still have high standards while allowing yourself room to learn, adjust and improve along the way.

I like to reference Sir James Dyson at this point. His development of the bagless vacuum cleaner involved creating many prototypes before arriving at a successful design. His story is a useful reminder that an attempt that doesn’t work as planned can still provide information that helps us decide what to do next.

Take a step outside your comfort zone

Getting out of your comfort zone takes guts. Doing something unfamiliar may bring fear and self-doubt with it, and you don’t necessarily have to wait for those feelings to disappear before deciding what to do.

Instead, consider the actual risks involved, what support or preparation you might need and whether there is a manageable next step you are willing to take.

Think back to a time when you did something that initially felt uncomfortable or uncertain. What helped you do it? What did you learn from the experience? Is there anything from that situation that could help you now?

How coaching can help with fear and self-doubt

If fear or self-doubt is repeatedly holding you back from something you want to do, confidence coaching can give you space to explore what may be behind it.

A coach can help you notice recurring beliefs and patterns of self-talk, question assumptions, consider the evidence available to you and identify practical steps towards your goals.