10 steps to help you make a positive change

Having to cope with change is one of life’s certainties. In reality, change can catapult you into the latest version of your life. But what about when you want to make a change, break a habit or start a new one?

Here are 10 steps to help you as you bring about the change you desire.

1. Get clear on your ‘why’

Why are you bringing about this change? Your ‘why’ comes from within you. It’s a feeling that compels you to do what is necessary, even if it requires sacrifice. Regardless of those sacrifices, you still feel driven to pursue your goal.

The initial change can be the hardest because it is new and different. Once you build momentum, it may feel easier to keep going.

2. Don’t aim to bring about too much change at once

Implement gradual changes. If you want to get up early, take it in small steps. Make the changes incremental using a step-by-step approach. Making gradual rather than sudden or radical changes may make the process feel more manageable.

3. Pace yourself to give you time to adjust to the changes

Set realistic, reachable goals and schedules. Prioritise easier changes. Achieving these smaller changes can help you build confidence as you progress.

4. Be brave and dare to experiment

Acting bravely can make us feel good because it involves being willing to experience difficult emotions. Bravery can involve being OK with tolerating uncertainty.

Try new things. Be willing to take manageable risks. Risk the unknown. Risk embarrassment. Accept that things may not always go to plan. Setbacks and failures are part of life. No one is perfect. Failure can be part of the process.

5. Expect and accept setbacks

Setbacks and backsliding can happen. Be patient. Try not to get discouraged at this point. Setbacks can sometimes teach us things that success doesn't.

Change is often like dancing – two steps forward and one step back. That’s OK because progress doesn't always happen in a straight line.

6. Celebrate small victories and triumphs with little rewards or self-compliments

Recognising small wins and recording your progress can help you notice what you're achieving and support your motivation.

Some changes are real breakthroughs – quantum leaps forward. But most come in small incremental strides which accumulate over time to produce noticeable results.

7. Be aware of negative self-talk and pessimism

Focusing on negative thoughts can affect motivation and contribute to feelings of helplessness. Notice phrases such as, ‘I’m too old, it’s too late, it’s no use, I can’t’.

Instead, work on developing more balanced and supportive self-talk. This may help you build confidence and approach challenges differently.

8. Anxiety about change can be normal and predictable – but doesn’t necessarily have to be a barrier

As you adapt to the latest version of your life, you might feel anxious or overly emotional until you regain your footing.

Moving outside your comfort zone can sometimes bring feelings of anxiety or uncertainty. Feeling anxious doesn't necessarily mean that something bad is going to happen; it may simply mean that you are navigating unfamiliar territory.

Give yourself time to adjust and consider what you need to feel supported as you move through change.

9. Keep trying

Even in your dreams, don’t give up. Determination and persistence can help you continue working towards something that matters to you. Take a little rest if you have to. Then, when you're ready, keep on doing what you need to do.

Become a student of life and learn from others. Learn from the people you want to become like. Use those lessons that life gives you to make better decisions. Use them to help you to push through whatever hurdles you are facing.

Changing direction, adjusting a goal or asking for support doesn't mean you've failed.

10. Have fun

Lighten up. Learn to laugh at yourself. Finding humour in situations can sometimes help us gain perspective. It’s one thing to find humour in particular situations; it’s another to be reflective and self-aware enough to laugh at oneself.

Enjoy being you. You deserve to love all that you love. Even if you have a challenging life, consider making time to appreciate yourself and the things that bring you enjoyment.

Finally, change can be fun, interesting, challenging and exciting. Instead of relying on pain or the avoidance of pain to drive change efforts, consider this question:

What would it take to inject more pleasure into the change process itself?

Managing change can help us learn to adapt and develop resilience. Whether you are bringing about change in the way you present yourself, developing new skills, taking a course or changing your routine, there may be more within your influence than you initially realise.