6 Ways to Boost Your Self Esteem
24th March, 20130 Comments
Written by: Caroline Rushforth - Forth Horizons Coaching
Have you ever noticed how you speak to yourself silently in your mind? When you look in the mirror, can you look at yourself with a sense of love and acceptance, or do you single out out all the things you don’t like in yourself? Perhaps you feel like a failure in certain areas of your life because things haven’t gone your way. All are signs that you need a little self esteem pick me up.
Low self esteem is common and many people don’t realise the impact their own self bullying has on their mind set. Would you let someone else speak to you the way you speak to yourself?
Some of your negative self talk could sound like this:
- My nose, it’s so big/fat/thin
- My bottom is too large
- My lips are a funny shape
- I hate my body
- I feel like a failure at work
- I hate myself
- I feel worthless
- I am ugly
- I hate my hair
- I am stupid
- I can’t do anything right
- I always make the wrong choices
If you lack belief in yourself and your ability, feel jealous of other people’s successes or feel invisible, here are some tips on what you can do to bring in to your awareness your thought patterns and also have an opportunity to make some personal changes so you can feel more empowered.
1. BRING OUT THE BEST IN YOURSELF
Write a list of your TOP best qualities. What positive things would people say to describe you? Your qualities are what make you unique. When you have reached at least 5 – 10, refer to them every day to remind yourself of who you are and what makes you special.
2. AVOID PUTTING YOURSELF DOWN
Be nice to yourself, notice how you speak to yourself on a daily basis. We do a great job of beating ourselves up with words that are often in our head. The more you say something, the more you will believe it so change all the things you don’t like on their heads and start to embrace yourself for who you are. When you can learn to change your language and emotions, you will start to feel a whole lot better in your own skin.
3. WHAT MAKES YOU SUCCESSFUL OR POWERFUL?
Write out a list of all the things you have done in the past that have been successful. Whether it’s getting a new job, succeeding on a project at work or college. Winning an award, losing weight…write them all out and see what comes up. It’s easy to forget and it’s good to be reminded!
4. YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
Who are the people you spend most of your time with? Notice the influence they have you, is it positive or negative? The people who you spend most of your time with are the ones who have the biggest impact on your mindset. You are heavily influenced by their behaviours and mannerisms. The things they say and do. Your relationships with others will affect how you feel about yourself, is it time to have a relationship spring clean?
5. STOP APOLOGISING!
If you find you constantly say sorry, take back control by only apologising for something you need to take responsibility for. People notice if you come across weak and can sometimes take advantage or lose respect for you. Take a step back before you apologise next time, if you felt it was genuinely needed then that is fine, but if you are saying it like a robot, you need to re-work your language patterns. If you notice yourself doing it frequently, ask yourself what you are apologising for afterwards so you can become more self aware and can justify or eliminate your need to apologise.
Affirmations are an amazing tool and can really work at changing how you think and behave. I have benefited very well from repeating affirmations even though it took me a few years to get going on writing some out.
When you say an affirmation you are sending a message to your unconscious mind. You are turning your attention to what you want, rather than what you don’t want, and your unconscious mind changes behaviour. You must say the affirmation in the present tense, as though it is happening already, even if you don’t quite believe it yet, but want to. Here are some examples you could try to gain more confidence and boost your self esteem:
- I am empowered with confidence and self worth
- I let go of self criticism and speak to myself in positive ways
- I am always doing the best I know how
- I let go of people who do not have my greatest good in mind
- I am the leader of my intentions
- I feel confident in my ability
- I appreciate my positive attributes
- I am in control of my decisions
- I am worthy of my job
- I am successful in my career
I hope you find these tips useful and good luck!
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Tracey Hutchinson, MSc, NLP Master Practitioner, Cert ManagementMarch 12th, 2017