Building self-confidence and self-esteem

Countless people have grown up to believe they are ‘not good enough’. This stays with them for years and years and can affect their self-esteem and confidence through adulthood.

Why do I not feel good enough?

Not feeling good enough could be due to what you heard as a child from friends, siblings, teachers and even parents. What you heard can stored at an unconscious level (after a certain age) and for some people, cultivates behaviour even as an adult.

Do you hear yourself telling you, "I don’t fit in", "nobody likes me", "I am different", "I will never be as good as her/him", "I can’t do this", "he/she is better than me in every way", "I am not good looking", "I will never be slim", "I am different", "I will never have what I want", "I lack confidence", "I have low self-esteem"?

Unfortunately, for cases of low self-esteem, nobody can solve it for you, only you can. You are listening to everything you say about yourself; your unconscious mind hears what you say and believes it to be the truth, unless disproven. 

It all starts from within, you're not broken - once you start to notice your self-talk and your self-language you may soon realise that you're self-sabotaging with your internalised voice. Becoming aware of your self-sabotaging thoughts and language will allow you to realise the damage you are creating, you can then replace with self-praising thoughts and Language and discover the true you.

How to incorporate self-praising language instead

Positive affirmations for yourself

Start telling yourself a different story, tell yourself every day, “I am good enough”. Say it every time you look in the mirror, make a list of all of your skills and qualities - yes you do have them! 

Don’t look external for approval, look within, if you learn to love, respect and believe in yourself then you can turn your view on yourself around.

Tell yourself every day, "I am confident", "I love me", "I am good enough", and "I can achieve whatever I want". Repeat over and over; every time you hear a negative thought, stop and replace it with one of these positives you've learnt - whichever is most applicable to your situation or moment of self-doubt.

Stop comparing yourself

We are all special and unique - don’t ever compare yourself to anyone. It is ok to admire someone and learn from them, but don’t compare yourself because you are special just the way you are. Tell yourself this every time you look in the mirror. 

Your unconscious mind is listening to what you think and say. By incorporating positive self-affirmation, and reducing comparative language in moments of self-doubt, you make room to feel good about yourself, hold self-belief and improve your self-esteem and confidence. You can do this, it takes practice, consistency and determination, but it doesn't have to take long. 

The negative beliefs you have about you are likely learnt from the past, it is not who you are now, it is not who you will soon be with a positive mindset on your shoulders.