When you know what you need to do, but just don't do it!
The Habit Breaker asks:
Do you find that, although you know what you need to do, when you need to do it and how you need to do it, you just don’t do it? Do you often wonder why you didn’t just do it?
Most things we put off doing become monsters in our mind. All these monsters (or fears) are based on the ‘fear of feeling’.
10% of all fears are Physical: ‘if I go up so high, I might fall, I’ll be in agony, I could die; if I get sick I might need an injection; if I do that, I might hurt myself really badly’.
90% of all fears are Emotional: ‘I’ll feel stupid, they’ll think I’m too old, they may not like me, I’ll feel bad; when I talk, they may not be interested, if they don’t listen, I’ll feel rejected and awkward. It just wouldn’t feel good’.
What IS that uncomfortable feeling exactly? Shut your eyes, take yourself back to the last time you felt like that. Explore it. Get inside it. Feel that feeling. Write about it, draw it, whatever you need to do. Where’s it located inside you? How big is it? How bad is it? Wallow in that feeling, expose yourself to it then feel it getting less and less intense as you explore it. Hold yourself in that feeling until you don’t feel it having any effect on you anymore (this sometimes takes more than one attempt, but keep trying).
Now go and do that thing that you have been holding back on, feel the satisfaction when you have completed your task and – very important part of the process – celebrate your success, by rewarding yourself in some small way. There’s nothing like a slice of Sousa’s Smile Pie. Smile and feel happy at your achievement, write yourself a thank you note, tell yourself in the mirror that you are proud!
This may sound a bit loopy but it will give your brain the evidence it needs that you have been successful, ready for the next time you challenge yourself in the same way!
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Karen Hayns MSc - Future PerfectSeptember 11th, 2017