How to survive the holidays
6th April, 20120 Comments
Holidays are a wonderful time when the whole family gets to spend good quality time together, relaxing and having fun. It's a perfect time of love and harmony, isn't it?
Yes, it can be and it can also be a trying time for a lot of people. It can be a time when the whole family is forced to come together with false promise of this "wonderful, mystical time" that we are all supposed to be having.
Little jimmy is sooo demanding, sally just won't stop crying and don't get me started on the mother-in-law. Arrrghhhhh!!!
It can leave you feeling guilty, upset and stressed. You wind up wishing the holiday away and look forward to the return to normality and the daily routine of the school run.
Sometimes all it takes is a change of perspective.
It can be very empowering just to simply realise that there are other ways to view a situation.
When you are feeling so annoyed or upset it is very very hard for any kind of positive action to come from this place. Usually an argument of some kind arises.
When your goal is to have a peacful, relaxing holiday how does this angry perspective help ? It doesn't.
So what is it you really want ?
You really want to have a happy, family holiday with little or no arguments. Where you all get to do things you like. You want to have some fun together.
So, lets take a look at another more helpful perspective that might actually get you where you'd love to be.
Lets call this the "perfect holiday" perspective. Just imagine, a holiday where you all get up in the morning - have breakfast on the veranda, everyone has slept wonderfully and the children take their time to waken up. The grandparents are happily looking after the whole proceeding, contented to be of some use and to be a part of your gorgeous family. The day is spent cycling along the beautiful paths of the coastal road, under a warm sun - perfect for a picnic along the way..... ahhhhhh you can feel every cell in your body take a sigh of relief. Wonderful, this is what holidays are all about.
Notice the feel of this perspective.
Let's take a look at another perspective " the I quit perspective"
This holiday is just the worst holiday EVER! Who's idea was it to come here? There is nothing to do, the children are bored and irritable and all they do is fight, I'm irritable too and all I do is shout and tell them off. The Grandparents are also getting irritable and I'm sure I saw Grandma shed a tear. We're going to pack up and go home tonight - that's it. I can't take it anymore.
Notice the feel of this perspective.
Out of these 3 perspectives, which one feels right for you.
Which one do you want to be in? Which one do you choose. Which one can you take some positive steps from that will lead you towards your dream of the happy family holiday you so desire and deserve?
Choice is the important word here because we do always have a choice.
Now, it is time to take some action.
Have a little brainstorming session or make a vision board of what a happy family holiday looks like to you.
For example - it might mean sitting down with everyone and agreeing on activities, sightseeing trips, dinner rota's, it might even be a good idea to air your niggles. It's also important to think about looking at attitudes - who do you all need to be to have a good holiday?
More relaxed, less tense, less worried, more fun ?
Finally, write down all of these "agreements" and sign them. Be accountable to yourselves for having a wonderful family holiday.
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Tracey Hutchinson, MSc, NLP Master Practitioner, Cert ManagementMarch 12th, 2017