Dealing with emotions
Here I am, back to share some thoughts that might help some of you in recognising thinking / behaviour patterns.
Today I was food shopping, and when driving my car out of the parking place a pedestrian walked towards me. I still had plenty of time to continue moving the car with no danger for that person. I heard: "chhhtupid" from the man looking at me. I stopped the car near him and asked "did you want to tell me something?". He avoided looking at me this time and said "don’t harass me".
I gave him a smile he could not see as he was not looking at me and then I left. Maybe he felt my smile, who knows?
The reason I am sharing this moment is that most of the time, when people threaten you or become aggressive towards you, they have to deal with something that belongs to their own life and not the interaction you have with them.
It is common to feel what others feel. It is mirroring their state of mind and by doing so, you integrate their feeling.
When it is anger, sadness, fear, you do not need them.
When it is joy, excitement, happiness, go for it!
Emotions are contagious. Being happy is contagious and being angry is contagious all the same.
Feeling empathy does not mean adapting the feelings of the other person. It means accepting their feeling as valuable and making sense for the other person, not necessarily for you. In other words, that person who called me ‘stupid’ had to deal with something unpleasant in his life at that moment. Was he himself harassed? I will never know and it does not matter. By leaving and offering him a smile, I sent him a peace message and deactivated the aggressive behaviour that he had begun between us.
By the way, stay safe in any case.
About the author
Life coach, social worker, mindfuness training, PgCert Clinical Hypnosis begun. UWL, LCCH. Master in social anthropology. La Sorbonne, Paris. Cert. Pract. NLP, Reiki II. Work with women, migrants/expatriates. Practical exercises/relaxation. Holistic approach: psychoanalysis, behavioural, cognitive, client centered, mindfulness.
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