Breaking ‘beliefs’ that limit our progress
Whether it be something instilled in us from childhood - being told we’re clumsy or rejection causing feelings of being unattractive for example - we all start to create beliefs that are all too often founded on our own supposition and not true facts.
My clients all know I love the expression “what evidence do you have to base this on?”
'One offs' or an occasional occurrence may suddenly appear as being factual. For example, as a child you may have fallen, a parent calls you clumsy and this phrase then gets used frequently.
We grow up believing we’re clumsy. I often ask those who cook why they still have all their fingers - if they truly were clumsy, surely they would have chopped them off by now! Do you see where I’m going with this?
The more you feed these beliefs and share with others, the harder they become to break. Beliefs are primarily formed unconsciously as our brain connects and stores things, but really, are you that unique to be the only one to feel this way?
So what can you do about it? Well, the first thing is to take charge of the situation, understand your limiting beliefs then choose - yes, actually choose whether you wish to continually feed or starve them. Here are some clues to help you along the way:
- Forgive yourself – As you would with others, forgive yourself for holding onto it.
- Engage with it – Talk to yourself about it. Truly understand your reasons for engaging with it.
- Starve it – Then cease feeding your limiting belief!
- Trail it – Watch when it occurs but also when it doesn’t. Question why that is.
- Challenge it – It has to be ‘evidence based’. So what evidence do you have?
- Imagine it’s gone – What more could you achieve without it?
- Logical conclusion – If you keep it or lose it, what will happen?
- Acknowledge it - Let it know that you’re aware of it.
- Take responsibility – It’s yours to do what you want with, keep it or reject it, make a choice.
- What’s it saying? – What’s your belief telling you?
- Reverse it – Consider the complete opposite as being truthful, what would be different?
- Act now! –“If you stay on the same path, you’ll reach the same destination”. Change the path, act now or nothing will change!
- Confront – Don’t shy away and ignore it, confront it.
- Similar conquests – What other limiting beliefs have you overcome in the last year?
- Standardise – Learn to understand that you are not alone. Other people have them too... yes, they really do!
- Give precedence – Stop putting things off, make it a priority to overcome it.
- Put it onto paper – Things look clearer once written down. Now how does it look?
- Give it some attention – What’s preventing you from achieving your objective? How can you knock those barriers down?
That was simple wasn’t it? Obviously if it was easy, we wouldn’t have allowed these beliefs to have such a grip on us, so this is where the likes of a coach can help. It will take time, but be strong and patient, eventually you’ll see for yourself that limiting beliefs are just that.
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