Boost Your Confidence for Dating
8th November, 20100 Comments
I realise that confidence and self esteem for relationships is something that a lot of women would like to improve on. Even women confident and successful in their careers sometimes find personal relationships and area they are lacking confidence in. Through focusing on positive actions and solutions, coaching challenges and changes negative thoughts feelings and behaviours into empowering ones. These are sustained changes that will make a significant difference the person being coached life, now and in future. Coaching is tailored specifically to an individual situation and will work on what will make the most difference to the individual. Through the coaching process individual goals and aspirations are discovered and the coach will use a range of tools, techniques and coaching methods get the results the coachee wants. The coachee always decides what they would like to be coached on, the coach then facilities the process to get them to where they want to be. Coaching is about empowering an individual to achieve the things they want, understand themselves and enjoy the journey on the way to getting them.
In this article I will give you some tips to start building confidence. I have not always been confident but it is something I have learnt and developed and now I am happy and confident in all areas of my life, I feel passionate about sharing what I have learnt with other women, hear is a chance to find out more.
1) What is Confidence?
Get a pen and paper and write down what confidence means to you. That is what confidence is.
The word confidence can mean something different to everyone. It is what is known as a nominalization a word that sounds like it has a specific meaning but in reality it is open to interpretation. In order to build confidence firstly it is important to identify what it means to you, secondly you will need to identify how you will know when you have it. Answer these questions, be specific.
- How will I know when I am more confident?
- How will I feel?
- What will I say?
- How will I act?
- What will people say to me or what will I hear?
- What will I look like?
If you don’t know where you are headed, how will you know when you get there. In coaching we always work on what building this level of awareness. Once you have identified your goal you automatically take steps to start achieving it.
2) What is have I got to build on?
Confidence is not about starting from scratch and changing everything thing about you. It is about building on what you already have and showing it to the world, being happy in your own skin.
Try and write at least 5 answers for the following questions. There is no room for modesty, I believe if you don’t believe in yourself or like yourself then it is hard for others to. If you can write more that 5 brilliant!
- What’s great about you?
- What are you good at?
- What are you proud of?
- What do your friends like about you?
- What physical attributes are you most proud of?
- What makes you loveable?
- What special gifts would you bring to a relationship?
Now read through this list and look it on a regular basis. See yourself how others see you, no one can be as hard on someone as we are on ourselves.
3) Give yourself a compliment, even if it is only in your head, I often think to myself, I look nice to day, I like my outfit, my hair looks nice, these shoes go well with what I am wearing etc. These small things all add up to building confidence. If someone compliments you, say thank you a compliment is a gift, you would say thank you to a gift. By saying thank you, you are accepting the gift of a complement and registering it.
Practice seeing yourself in a new positive light. If you start act and look more confident on the outside, the inside will feel more confident and soon catch up.
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Caroline Wellingham - Accredited Career and Life Coach, NLP PractitionerJuly 12th, 2017